Searching for My Nightmare
by rosepetalsinthewind
Summary: Kai Hristo lost her family, her leg, and her freedom when her future and will was stolen from her at the ripe age of eleven. Her training began as soon as her leg was replaced, and Kai was forced into the ways of the Sith by her master, Kylo Ren. And from that point on Kai never lost a battle. Kai never felt love. Kai never knew kindness. Until a certain scavenger saved her.
1. Prologue

Kai's heart pounded on her chest as she stumbled through the never-ending desert planet of Jakku. The Sith apprentice had just lost a battle, which was a first for the young trainee. Kai Hristo had been wounded by some aimless, idiot Stormtrooper's blaster. Despite the shaking, seizing pain Kai still managed to be furious. Kai's left leg, her android leg, buckled. She screamed in pain and hatred as she collapsed into the sand, her chest hitting the terrain with surprising pain.

Kai gave a jarring, bone-shaking hacking cough that was accompanied with a glob of blood flying from her mouth and painting the almost white sand. Kai gritted her teeth as the blood dripped down her chin, trying to push herself to her feet, but her shaking arms gave way and she collapsed again, shaking and panting as she let out another cough. Kai's shaking hand found her wound just above the left curve of her hip, and she rolled onto her right side to see that her robotic leg had also been mangled by the fight. Kai bit back a scream as she put pressure on the laser wound, but the pain was intensifying and becoming nearly unbearable.

As Kai's consciousness began floundering in pain and exhaustion, the sand began to shift around the Sith's form, and Kai's mind started to slip away.


	2. Salvation

Kai's groggy mind snapped itself into high gear alert, and she jolted upright only to growl in pain as a burning sensation shot up her whole left side. Kai silently cursed, blinking to try to clear her fuzzy mind.

"You're awake,"

The voice startled Kai, who whipped her head around to see a fair-skinned girl in rags repairing some staff-like object.

"Who're you?" Kai growled, "How'd you find me?"

"That's no way to say 'thank you'," The girl said, feigning hurt in her accented voice. "After all, I saved your life. Nasty hole in your side, how'd you get it?"

Kai realized that she was wearing next to nothing, and that her cloak and tunic were gone. All that was covering her chest and and lower regions was a few rags that wrapped around her body. A thin layer of bandages covered the blaster wound, and for the first time in a long time Kai was actually forced to look at the swirling chain tattoos that swirled up her midriff, neck, and arms and circled around her wrists.

Kylo's reminder that Kai was his, and there was nothing Kai could do to change that.

"Oh.. I also fixed your leg." The girl added.

Kai peered down at the robotic appendage and forced the words from her mouth. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. And as soon as you're well again, you're out of here. I can barely take care of myself- let alone a wounded... a wounded whatever you are." The girl said, swinging the staff onto her shoulders. "I'm going out to scavenge for parts. You stay here."

Kai smirked, almost laughing. "Where would I go?"

But the girl was gone, the sand just beginning to swirl outside. Once she vanished completely, Kai swung her legs over the edge of the makeshift cot she was lying on, taking in deep breaths. Kai's hair cascaded over her shoulders, and Kai realized that her raven locks were no longer tied into thousands of tiny dreadlock-like braids. Kai also realized that the adornments that were braided into her locks were gone.

That girl had stolen them!

Kai snarled with anger and she wanted to kill the girl; but, as of now the scavenger was keeping Kai alive. Kai took a deep breath and pushed herself onto wobbling legs. The burning pain shot up her side again, and Kai was forced to sit back down. Kai guessed that the wound had damaged most of her side, but Kai didn't dare unwrap the bandages to check if her theory was right. Instead Kai sat waiting for the scavenger to return, having found and thrown her black cloak over her shoulders to provide some clothing and closure for herself. The scavenger returned after what seemed like forever and tossed a small package at Kai.

"That's yours."

"You stole my jewelry."

"I had to if I was to feed you and myself."

Kai growled softly in the back of her throat as the girl took the package from Kai's hands.

"I'll make it for you, actually. You shouldn't get up."

Great, now that scavenger was babying Kai.

"Oh, I never got your name." The scavenger said as she ripped open Kai's package and pouring the powdered contents into boiling water.

"My name?" Kai asked, intrigued. No one had asked for her name before. "My name is Kai. Kai Hristo." The words left Kai's mouth before she realized she'd even said them.

"Kai.." The girl said, as if tasting Kai's name. "I'm Rey."

So, Rey didn't know that Kai was the Kai, the murderer... the Sith. Kai said nothing for a while, so Rey spoke up instead.

"Your tattoos.. do they mean something?"

"My tattoos are just a reminder." Kai responded as Rey handed her a bowl, with the contents from the package inside. Kai realized how starving she was, and Kai began devouring the food wolfishly. Then, halfway through her food, Kai stopped and looked up at Rey.

"Why are you doing this?" Kai asked Rey, frowning. By that point Rey was gnawing on her own food thoughtfully.

"Doing what?" Rey asked, tilting her head curiously.

"Helping me." Kai said, her curiosity growing and Kai found herself aching to know Rey's motives. Rey, however, only shrugged.

"Just trying to be nice, I guess. Seems like the right thing to do."

"Hundreds of people would be willing to let me die. Yet, here you are... a poor scavenger nursing me, one of the worst people on the galaxy, back to health. That's some irony," Kai said, mostly to herself.

"Why do people want you dead?" Rey asked with an innocent, child-like wonder. Kai realized that Rey didn't know what was going on outside of Jakku.

"I don't know the real reason anymore myself," Kai suddenly admitted. "I've lost my mind, I've lost myself.."

"That sounds.. sad." Rey said, frowning. "What's happened to you, Kai?"

"I don't think that the topic you're asking of me is appropriate to tell at this point in time.." Kai said, biting down on her lip as she watched the sky grow dark outside.

"Well.. when you're ready," Rey said softly, "tell me. But.. you're going to have to move over. There's only one bed and you're on it, Kai. And I don't plan on sleeping here on the floor."

Kai raised an eyebrow, but Kai obliged to Rey's wish; which was surprising to Kai. Rey, once she had finished her rations, set down her bowl and meandered towards the cot and boosted herself up with a small yawn. Kai rolled onto her good side, facing away from Rey. Kai almost always slept alone, aside from the occasional nights with Kylo. Kai felt Rey's back against her own and felt Rey's warmth creep across the small space.

They fell asleep like that, facing away from each other in stony silence.

However, that's not how they were in the morning.

•••

When Kai woke up, she was tangled in Rey's arms and Rey was tangled in Kai's; their faces inches apart. Kai felt warmth rise to her cheeks as she slowly and gently untangled herself from Rey. Kai limped over to the metal wall and sat down, leaning against it. Kai knew that she'd have to leave soon, lest she wanted Kylo to come back to Jakku and wreak havoc upon whatever inhabitants were scattered across the desert planet.

Kylo would, eventually, come for Kai. And if Kylo found Kai here with Rey... Kylo would surely kill the scavenger, and Kai did not want Rey to die. The Sith hated to admit it, but she felt something for the dirty scavenger. Kylo was not easily deterred from Kai's disappearances, as Kai often snuck off for personal or intimate reasons. But it always ended the same with Kylo Ren coming and dragging Kai back to her personal hell, and killing whomever Kai was seen last with. Most times Kai left it was to wound Kylo's pride, but it never seemed to work and it was always Kai who was wounded.

"Rey," Kai's voice was sharp and it stirred Rey awake.

"Huh? What's wrong?" Rey yawned.

"You had to have gotten that food from somewhere. Is there a town nearby? A village?"

"Yes... why?" Rey asked, confused, as she propped herself up onto her elbows.

"I'll have to contact someone. And... I fear I am a burden and a danger to you." Kai said, admitting what was on her mind.

"You're no burden, and I don't see how a wounded girl is a danger to me. I can fend for myself." Rey said, standing up and walking towards the exit.

"Leaving again?" Kai asked.

"I'll have to get more rations. I'll be back eventually.. I'm not sure when," Rey said, swinging the staff onto her shoulders once more and wrapping her tunic around herself. But then Rey stopped, silently chastising herself. "I almost forgot to check on your wound.. I'm no medic, but I should at least change the bandages."

Rey grabbed a roll of the thin cloth and knelt beside Kai, unraveling the current bandages that was covering her wound. Kai glanced down, biting her lip, as she looked at the charred, blackened burned flesh of her hip. Gently, Rey began to replace the old bandages and Kai cried out as the fabric made contact with the wound.

"Sorry, sorry," Rey said hastily, doing her best to be gentle. After a few moments, Rey gently tucked the end of the roll into the creases of the bandages. "There you go.."

Rey helped Kai to her feet, leading her back to the cot. "Stay here and rest," Rey told Kai. "And when I get back, I want to hear about how you lost your leg."


	3. The Last Night

Kai actually found herself missing the scavenger. Kai missed Rey's accent and the glimmer of Rey's eyes. The hours of the day slipped by as Kai lay on her back, waiting almost impatiently for Rey's return. Kai tapped her finger against the cot and waited, her lips pursed, anxiously. When Rey's form, shadowed by the night, slipped through the entrance of the fallen war machine she called her home, Kai sat up with a grin across her face and her anxiety melting away.

Rey wasn't alone, though. A small droid unit- a BB, if Kai was correct- rolled in with her.

"Kai, this is BB-8. I'm taking him into town tomorrow morning, and you, too, I suppose.."

Kai stared down at the unit and it stared right back at Kai. The droid knew who and what Kai was, but Kai shook her head almost unnoticeably, and when Rey's back was turned, Kai mouthed "I'm not here to hurt anybody". The droid seemed to accept that, and it stayed quiet as Rey began to prepare the portions she'd gotten.

"Once this is done I want to know about your leg." Rey reminded Kai, so Kai mustered up the memories she often tried to repress as Rey sat beside her and stared with and expectant expression that, for a moment, almost reminded Kai of Kylo.

"What is there to tell?" Kai asked airily. "It's gone."

"How'd you lose it?" Rey asked, exasperated, with a grin.

"Well... I was hardly eleven. I don't remember a lot, but I remember that it was dark and there was fire everywhere." Kai began, frowning lightly. "My home was burning, I think. I was running, and I fell into the flames. My mom snatched me by the arm and dragged me out, and I was crying. Lots and lots of tears."

Rey watched with a somber expression, frowning softly.

"Mom picked me up and tried to run but something brought her down and I remember falling. When I looked up there was only a hooded figure and a boy around fifteen standing beside the hooded thing." Kai felt the memories come easier now, and she could recall them as though they'd happened just the day before. "The hooded thing waved its pale hand and I fell asleep. When I woke up my leg was gone and I was on some ship with the boy from before." Kai said abruptly. "And that's how I lost my leg, the end. Story's finished."

Kai had realized that if she told Rey everything, even Rey would hate her as everyone else did.

And Kai was sick of being hated.

"What happened after that?" Rey pressed, her fingers finding their way to the skin of Kai's arm.

"I don't want to talk about it." Kai snapped, looking away. BB-8 beeped something, and while Kai was clueless as to what the droid was saying; Rey apparently understood the little guy.

"BB-8 says that what you just told us.. is terrible. He's sorry." Rey translated. "I'm sorry."

"That makes three of us," Kai grumbled.

"Kai..." Rey said gently.

"What?"

Kai's reply came sharper than usual, a stinging tone that made Rey frown.

"Nothing," Rey snapped back. "Never mind. Let's just get to sleep.. I do, after all, have to take you two to town."

Kai suddenly felt sorry, and she wasn't sure if she was sorry for her actions or herself.

"Rey?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry."

"... Don't be."

Rey curled up on the cot, facing away from Kai. Sighing softly, Kai curled up against Rey, burying her face into the crook of Rey's neck.

And when Kai's breathing evened out and the girl was still, Rey smiled.


	4. Madness in Me

The morning came quickly, and again Kai was up before Rey, pulling her tunic and cloak on. Kai was relieved to find her lightsaber still lying dormant in the folds of her tunic and not coined by the scavenger. Kai pulled back the hair on the top of her head, and braided the locks that fell down her shoulders and back into tiny dreadlock-braids. Once she was done prepping herself, Kai shook Rey awake.

"Rey.." She said gently, nearly tripping over BB-8. "Sorry," she mouthed to the droid.

The droid beeped its anger, and Kai could only imagine what the droid had said. Rey blinked her eyes open and yawned.

"Morning already?" Rey's words sounded sad, and she swung herself off of the bed, grabbing her boots and pulling them onto her feet.

Kai almost felt sorry again, but then the Sith remembered that if she stayed- Rey would certainly die.

For the first time in three days, Rey helped Kai outside as BB-8 rolled behind them. Rey boosted Kai into the cockpit, and then went to grab a net. Kai watched, curious, but then found that she was only tying BB-8 to the sand speeder. Rey climbed up beside Kai a few moments later, and they were off speeding across the desert moments later.

•••

"Rey.."

"What's wrong, Kai?" Rey asked as she untied BB-8 from the speeder, her attention focused on untangling the net.

"Promise me something," Kai said, her inner conflict getting the best of her.

"As soon as you get this droid to wherever you need to get him, get out of here. It's for your own good. Please."

"Leave? What about you? I need to make sure you get to wherever you're going."

"Don't worry about me." Kai said sharply as she looked around the tiny, rundown village. Her black cloak rippled in the occasional wind, and when she received no answer Kai turned and began walking.

"You're just going to leave? Just like that?" Rey suddenly asked.

Kai froze and glanced over her shoulder. "If I asked you to come with me, would you say yes? And if you did, would you still think of me the same once you learned who I am and what I am?"

Rey didn't answer.

Kai moved to start walking again, but Rey stopped her again.

"Kai."

Kai turned only to be enveloped by Rey's arms. Kai accepted the hug, the only one she'd accepted since the day she'd lost her leg. Kai's hand tenderly pressed against Rey's cheek and her forehead pressed against Rey's as well.

"May we meet again," Kai said gently as she pushed Rey away just as gently. Kai's hand, pressed against Rey's cheek, was the last thing to leave Rey's skin.

When Rey looked up with teary eyes, Kai was gone.

•••

Kai didn't know what this strange, heavy feeling in her chest was when she fled from Rey's... affection? Love? Kai wasn't sure what Rey's embrace was fueled by, but Kai thought that she maybe liked it. But Kai didn't know for sure. All Kai knew was that Kylo would definitely be there soon once someone spotted her, and her belief was confirmed as two Stormtroopers approached her moments later.

"Master Kylo has been searching for you. Load yourself onto the drop ship, we're to capture a traitor and a BB unit droid."

Kai gave a small nod, but she followed the Stormtroopers' gazes towards...

Rey?

Rey and some dark-skinned man beside BB-8.

What was Rey doing here still?

"Whatever you do," Kai growled, "Do not harm that girl. Do you hear me?"

The troopers nodded, and Kai walked towards the drop ship.

But Kai was oblivious to the chaos that would ensue later as she was flown back to the giant war ship looming over the planet.

•••

To no surprise, Kai was greeted by Kylo upon her arrival to the ship. Kai knew some punishment lay in store for her, so she only stared at Kylo with cold, unforgiving green eyes. Kylo motioned for a few of the troopers to come over, and they obeyed like robots. It was impossible to tell what the Sith lord was thinking underneath that lampshade of a mask.

"Take Kai to an interrogation cell... the usual one." Kylo's distorted voice hissed. The troopers grabbed Kai's arms and forced them behind her back as Kylo snatched her lightsaber. He waved a hand to force Kai into a slumber, the last words she heard being,

"Don't be gentle."

•••

Kai's nose dripped blood and her right eye was swollen shut. She spat a glob of blood onto the floor. Her arms were pulled straight out from her sides, to the point that if she tried to escape Kai would dislocate her arms. The chains holding her to the walls were more like wire cables, and when the troopers had beaten her and Kai had grasped onto them, the cables had cut her hands. She was tired, but her restraints kept her from collapsing.

So she stood, her feet shoulder width apart, her head down as she gritted her teeth against the pain.

Kai wanted Rey to be there, to care for and comfort Kai. But Kai was alone and she would probably never see Rey again. Kai heard the cell doors slide open and she raised her head to see Kylo, unmasked, stalk into the cell with a look of pure disdain.

"Have I not given you everything?" Kylo asked, his voice a snarl, as he glared at Kai. "Have I not given you power and authority, and the ways of the Force?"

Kai didn't answer. Kai remained silent, her gaze finding the floor again.

"Answer me!" Kylo screamed, his fist striking the side of Kai's face, causing her to jerk backwards and also causing the muscles in her arms to strain. Kai began to shake, and she spat blood onto the ground again.

"What do you want me to say, Kylo?" Kai snarled. Kylo didn't answer, but Kai could see he was shaking with rage.

Kylo's gloved hand tilted Kai's chin up, forcing her to look at him.

"Your training will start again soon. Snoke wants you finished soon. But... as of now... we're heading down to Takodana. Resistance scum has been spotted there."

Normally, Kai would of been psyched to capture some Resistance rebels. But now.. she felt odd. It didn't feel right to do this anymore.

"I'll come for you when we've landed. For now, you stay here and think. I'm sick of your running away, and I've half the mind to end you.. but Snoke says we need you." Kylo growled.

Kai glared at him. Kylo claimed to love her, but yet he was willing to kill her.

"Kylo," Kai suddenly growled. Kylo turned, staring at Kai with some belittling gaze.

"What?"

"If I ever learn you're using me just to satisfy your anger and your pleasures, I will kill you."

Kylo grinned, "You wouldn't dare."

"You don't know me." Kai snarled as Kylo left the room.

For the first time in years, Kai felt tear drops well in her eyes and slide down her cheeks like raindrops. Kai hated Kylo more than anything, she was sure of it. And Kai knew she would kill him when the time was right.

And Kylo would suffer.


	5. Sick of It

Kai had almost passed out by the time Kylo returned. Her arms were asleep and her legs were locked. But Kai still managed to find the pride and strength to raise her head and glare at him.

"Release her," Kylo said boredly, commanding two troopers to undo the cables. Exhausted, Kai dropped to the ground, panting, her chest heaving. She glared up at Kylo again.

"Normally," Kylo said as he stalked circles around Kai, "I'd let you come to the front line with me. But Snoke has commanded me to leave you here for now.. so, collect yourself."

"Will you at least explain to me why we're... you're going to the battlefront?" Kai demanded, groaning, as she rubbed the circulation back into her wrists, getting the blood flowing once more.

"I suppose." Kylo obliged, his arms behind his back. "We've located the Resistance's refugee droid and our traitor. The droid holds a map to Skywalker, which we will be following shortly."

It wasn't much, but at least Kylo had summarized for Kai.

"There's also a scavenger," Kylo added.

Kai's heart stopped. "A scavenger?" She asked meekly.

"Yes. Snoke believes she has the Force... haven't you felt it? The awakening?"

"I felt something," Kai said with a frown. "What's her name? The scavenger?"

"We don't know yet.. but she's been spotted with Han Solo," Kylo snarled.

Speaking Han Solo's name was a subject dipped in hate. Kylo's eyes always darkened with anger when he heard or spoke the name, so Kai could guess that Kylo would harm the scavenger.

Kai just hoped it wasn't Rey.

Kylo made a move to leave, but then he paused again. "Your cloak and saber are with General Hux. I expect you'll gather them once you've recovered." He said in his soft but angry robotic voice. Kai nodded.

"As you wish... master." Kai forced the name through her teeth and out of her mouth reluctantly. Kylo puffed out his chest in a sort of arrogance as he turned and exited through the cell door, leaving Kai beside herself.

Kai found that she did not regain the strength to keep herself on her feet for a long while after Kylo left her alone. But when her strength returned Kai heaved herself to her feet, gasping for air. The wound in her side still ached, and her face hurt now, too. Kai began limping towards the command center, her anger and hatred growing inside of her. Kai coddled her hate, nursed it. Kai was promising herself that she would end Kylo, no matter what it took.

"General Hux," Kai growled as she limped into the room. "I believe you have some belongings of mine."

The General glanced over at Kai tiredly. "Give the girl her things," He commanded with a bored sigh to one of his officers. One of the officers, the trooper with the silver armor, handed Kai her cloak and saber. Kai instantly felt more protected and secure and she threw the cloak around her shoulders and hooked the lightsaber into her belt. She nodded her thanks to Hux briefly before looking at the holographic map displayed on the walls.

"Kylo is already on the surface?" Kai questioned, glancing at Hux.

"Yes. He just arrived." Hux confirmed.

Kai stared at the map, lost in her thoughts. What if the scavenger Kylo spoke of was Rey?

No. It couldn't be. Rey would never leave Jakku.

The hopeful thoughts helped to ease Kai's mind, but deep down Kai knew that it was Rey. It had to be.

•••

"Kylo's on his way back," Hux alerted Kai. "He said the droid was no longer vital. Instead, he's bringing the scavenger.."

Kai's heart began to pound in her chest. "Why?"

"He said that the girl had seen the droid's map," Hux said with a shrug. "Kylo has given us orders to take her to the chair and interrogate her. Only he is to be allowed to see her."

Kai made a note to talk to Kylo about seeing the scavenger.

She still hoped it wasn't Rey.

"Drop ship requesting entrance," An officer called out.

"Let them in!" Hux called. "It's Kylo with the prisoner."

Instantly, Kai began to rush down towards the loading dock. She needed to get to Kylo and make sure it wasn't Rey.

It couldn't be Rey. Rey had to be safe, back in Jakku. That was the only reasonable and logical explanation.

Kai hurried towards Kylo, and felt her heart sink in her chest. He was carrying the still, unconscious form of Rey.

Kai's Rey.

"Rey.." Kai didn't realize that the words had left her mouth.

"You know her?" It was more of a demanding question that a statement.

"Yes," Kai said meekly. "She saved me."

Kylo's masked face stared at Kai as he called to a group of troopers.

"Take this one to the chair. I have to talk to my apprentice."

Kylo's fingers tightened around Kai's arm and he jerks her to the side, towards a secluded part of the hanger. Then his fingers are at her throat and Kylo is shoving Kai against the wall.

"You were with her?" Kylo hissed, his grip tightening. Kai had the urge to panic, but she managed to stay calm.

"One of your troopers shot me," Kai gasped, "You left me in the desert after you captured Poe.. she saved my life.."

Kylo released Kai, growling.

"You did nothing with her?"

"We did nothing," Kai promised, gasping, as she rubbed her throat.

Kylo seemed to be considering this, then he nodded. "Then if she means nothing, you will come with me and watch her interrogation." He sniffed, turning his back to Kai as he began to strut off.

Reluctantly, Kai followed.

"And the droid..?"

"Not important." Kylo said dismissively. "The girl has the map in her mind. We just have to wrench it from her."

Kai shuddered at Kylo's statement, trying to swallow the growing... God, what was this feeling? Anyhow, Kai tried to bite back the growing, agonizing feeling building up in her chest.

"Is she awake yet?" Kylo asked the Stormtrooper guarding Rey's interrogation cell.

"No, sir." The trooper said as he let the duo inside.

"Good.." Kai mumbled softly, pulling her hood over her head to conceal her face. Kai realized that she didn't want Rey to see her like this, as the bad guy.

As the betrayer.

As the murderer.

As the traitor.

Kai didn't know what she wanted Rey to see her as, but it definitely wasn't this side of Kai. Kai's emerald eyes locked onto Rey's unconscious form. She wanted to reach out and touch her, but Kylo would see the move and probably take off Kai's hand. Kai almost shuddered again at the thought, and her fists clenched slowly. Kylo was sitting, awaiting Rey's awakening zealously.

Kai saw Rey's eyes flutter open groggily, and Rey went to move, but the restraints on the chair kept her still. Kai felt terrible, she wanted to free Rey.

"I.. I can't do this," Kai said, storming away from Kylo and Rey, her hands on her temples. Kylo growled, rolling his eyes, as he followed Kai and grabbed her arm.

"What are you doing?" Kylo hissed. "You said she means nothing! Why are you walking away like a coward?"

"I don't know!" Kai whirled around, snarling. "I don't know, Kylo! She saved my life! I don't want to hurt her!"

"You are weak." Kylo growled. Kai said nothing more, she only stared at Kylo with growing hatred. "Fine," Her master hissed after a few moments of stony silence. "You will wait out here by the door, you are not to go anywhere else while I interrogate this rebel."

Kai felt Kylo's fingers release her arm, and Kai watched Kylo stalk back into the cell as the doors shut behind him.

Kai wished that his cape would've gotten caught between the doors.


	6. Monster

Kylo emerged after what seemed like an eternity, enraged beyond the point of Kai's ability to calm him down. Normally, Kai could talk his temper down- but as of now, Kylo was officially enraged. Kai knew that somewhere on this ship, some wall was in danger. But Kylo was also not paying attention to Kai, so after a while of walking and Kylo disappearing into Snoke's holographic room. With a glare at Kylo, and a mischievous grin, Kai raised a hand, calling deep within herself for the Force, and stopped the closing doors before slipping inside.

"Rey," Kai knelt beside the girl, her fingers aching to touch the girl's skin.

"Kai...?" Rey looked over at Kai, a look of pure confusion washing over her face. "Why are you here..? Does he hold you prisoner here, too?"

"No,"

The word was a whisper that left Kai's mouth reluctantly.

"Then why..?" Rey's eyes widened. "Are you one of them?" Kai felt the hurt in Rey's voice.

"Yes. I'm one of them.. I'm part of the First Order.." Kai said, looking away.

Rey silently stared at Kai, and Kai could feel the rage and.. something else. Kai hoped it wasn't hatred.

"You betrayed me," Rey suddenly spat.

"What? No!" Kai said, her hood falling from her face.

"Kai, what happened to your face?" Rey asked. Kai shook her head, not bothering to answer, as she bent over by the chair to undo the restraints, only to find they were already undone.

"What..?" Kai looked confused.

"I used the force," Rey said, proud, as she swung herself out of the chair. "Can.. can I trust you not to go get Kylo?"

A small smile spread across Kai's lips. "Of course you can. Now let's get you out of here," Kai said, unlatching her lightsaber in case she needed it.

"You're a Sith?" Rey asked nervously.

"I didn't ask to be, Rey." Kai said bitterly as she pushed Rey behind her. "Now stop asking questions and stay behind me."

Rey nodded, but piped up. "I, uh, stole a trooper's blaster. I thought you were Kylo.. so I, never mind. You know."

"Do you know how to use a blaster?" Kai asked as she suddenly knocked the weapon from Rey's hand and placed a hand on Rey's shoulder, igniting her saber.

"What are you-" Rey paused when she saw a group of troopers emerge from a corner.

"Hey! You!"

Kai's voice, suddenly calm and enticing, spoke with a level tone. "I have orders to transport the prisoner to the dock. You will not report this to Kylo, Phasma, or Hux. You will not speak of this to anyone."

"Of course." The troopers said, compliant to Kai's wish as they began to march onwards again. Kai's tension left her body and she let go of Rey.

"I told you, you can trust me." Kai said with a smile.

•••

The two laid low, stalking through a narrow corridor. Not many troopers often patrolled her, so Kai had doused her saber and led Rey through the corridor.

"Why are you helping me?" Rey asked softly. "Surely Kylo will punish you. He's the one that did that to your face, isn't he?"

Kai glanced back at Rey and smiled gently. "It seemed like the right thing to do," She echoed Rey's words.

The happiness was short lived, however, because soon footsteps could be heard tromping through the halls.

"Spread out, find the prisoner and the apprentice. Now!" That was Phasma's voice. Kai's lips pulled back into a silent snarl, then she turned to Rey.

"You need to follow this corridor to the end of the hall. It'll lead you to the dock. Go, quickly." Kai said, "I can't take you any further. I'm sorry."

"You're leaving? Again?" Rey asked.

"I don't want to. I don't want to leave you here, okay? But if I'm going to protect you, I have to go." Kai said directly.

Rey looked hurt, and Kai hated to leave her. Out of the unnamed emotion bugging her all day, Kai threw her arms around Rey- who returned the hug with surprising force.

"I'm sorry, Rey." Kai said softly.

"Come with me." Rey suddenly said. "You don't have to suffer anymore."

Kai smiled sadly, taking Rey's face in her gloved hands. "Rey, I care about you. A lot. But I can't risk your life like this. You need to go. You have so much ahead of you."

"But I want you to come with me. I can fend for myself! I need.. I mean.. the Resistance needs you. You know everything about this base. You can help us, you can-"

Kai shook her head. "Someday we will meet again, Rey." She said softly as she leaned forward and pressed her lips against Rey's. It silenced the scavenger, who stood frozen for a few seconds. But to Kai's surprise- and Rey's surprise-, Rey began to kiss back.

"I'm coming back for you." Rey said once Kai had pulled away. "I won't let Kylo hurt you anymore."

Kai gave a small nod, and gave Rey a gentle push. "Go, Rey. Now."

It took everything for Kai to watch Rey disappear down the hallway. And when Kai turned around, Kylo was behind her- as furious as ever.

•••

Kai stomached the beating Kylo gave her. He battered Kai's face and probably broke one of her ribs. The cables were back, tighter than last time. Kai growled at him.

"Jealous?" She spat at Kylo, grinning. Her teeth were stained with blood, and the crimson dripped down her chin and her nose.

"No!" Kylo screamed, striking her again. His breathing had become ragged, and he hit her again and again. Kai's legs buckled, and she slipped. She tried to grab onto the cables, but they were already slick from Kai's blood, and the skin on Kai's hands were torn from the cables.

"You can't stop Rey." Kai spat. "The Force is stronger within her than you or I."

"I will crush her," Kylo spat.

"There's been a disturbance." Hux peered in from behind the open door. "You are to check it out. I'll deal with Kai."

"A disturbance? Where?" Kylo asked, his anger still building as he snatched his mask and lowered it over his face. Hux pulled Kylo aside from the room, as not to let Kai hear. Kai glanced to the side, spotting her saber discarded in the corner. Kylo must've been too blind with rage to have tucked it into his belt.

Moments later, Hux walked into the room. He only stared at Kai with the same disdain that Kylo looked at her with.

"You are a disgrace to the First Order," Hux said bitterly.

"I renounce the First Order." Kai said, spitting at Hux's feet as the palm of her left hand opened, the Force beckoning her saber- which shot into her hand, igniting upon connecting with Kai's palm.

It sliced through the cable as easily as one would tear a piece of paper, and the taut wiring snapped back and slashed against the wall with a terrible, whip-like cracking noise as Kai then slashed through the second cable.

"Where did Kylo go?"

•••

Kai marched down the hallway, almost to the boiler room when she froze.

"Ben!" Han Solo was there.

Kai knew that Kylo's real name was Ben. She knew that Han Solo was his father.

Slowly, Kylo turned. Kai knew that while Kylo was distracted, she could sneak inside.

Kai crept into the room, sliding behind the pipes and barrels as she made her way across the floor. She wasn't paying much attention to Kylo and Han, but she immediately turned to the sound of a lightsaber being ignited.

Kylo's red blade had burned straight through Han Solo's body.

"No!"

The voice was Rey's.

Kylo Ren's unmasked face snapped upwards. Rey must've been on the balcony, and soon Kylo was running. Kai had to follow him. She ran after Kylo, making sure to keep her distance, after she'd untangled herself from the pipes. A trail of blood followed Kylo, so it wasn't difficult to follow him. For a wounded man, Kylo moved fast.

But Kai was fast, too.

She felt her boots sink into the snow covering the manmade planet, and looked down to see she was outside. Kai had ever been outside of the base before, and she was almost scared. But saving Rey was more important than Kai's feelings right now. With a deep breath, Kai darted after the blood trail- leaving tracks in the snow. The cold wind nipped at her face and pulled at her braids. She had never been so cold before as the wind took the air from her lungs, but still Kai ran.

Finding Rey was the only thing on her mind as she heard the buzzing of lightsabers. The dark skinned man from before, the traitor Stormtrooper, was holding a blue blade. Rey was lying in the snow, lifeless.

Rey could not be dead. Kai needed her. Kai... loved Rey.

"No!" The angry scream tore itself loose from Kai's throat just as Kylo had thrown the ex-Stormtrooper to the ground, defeating him. Kai collapsed to her knees, feeling the tears streak down her face one by one as she buried her face in her hands.

Kylo smirked, enjoying Kai's pain as he outstretched his hand for the fallen blue saber that had fallen from the man's palm, but it would not cooperate. Instead, it flew into the hand of...

Kai heard Kylo's enraged growl, and she looked up to see Rey standing, her chest heaving, as she ignited the blade.

Kylo would rip Rey apart, Kai knew that as Kylo charged at Rey, swinging his blade as a cry tore from his lips. Kai couldn't watch. Blue met red, and the blades screeched. Kai looked up, but the combatants were gone. She stumbled to her feet and followed the sounds of clashing lighsabers, only to find Rey backed against a cliff.

"Kylo!" Kai barked, igniting her own blade with a growing fury. But he would not budge.

"You need a teacher," he was crooning desperately to Rey. "Someone to teach you the ways of the Force!"

"The Force!" Rey whispered. Kai watched the girl close her eyes and for a moment everything was still.

When Rey's eyes opened again, she forced Kylo backwards. Kai took her opening, her blade swinging through the air and clashing against Kylo's, who barely managed to parry the blow. Rey was attacking the wounded Sith now, too; forcing him stumbling backwards once more.

Kylo slashed at Rey.

Rey parried the blow and cut her saber across Kylo's skin.

Kai lashed her blade across Kylo's back.

Kylo screamed and collapsed, trying to get up. Kai was by Rey's side, panting with an animalistic fury that had finally unleashed itself. Kai raised her saber to bring the killing blow, but Rey's fingers gently brought her arm down.

"No, Kai.. don't." Rey said gently.

"He killed my family. He took my leg and my freedom. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't split him in two," Kai snarled.

"Because you're not him." Rey's voice was calm and gently. "You're not a monster like he is."

"He made me a monster." Kai snarled, her fingers tightening on the hilt of her lightsaber.

"You don't have to be like him." Rey said, her fingers gently turned Kai's face towards hers. "You are no monster."

And like that, the ground gave way breaking apart and separating Kylo from Kai.

Kai felt Rey's fingers gently close around Kai's palm. "We have to go." She said gently as she pulled Kai away from her tormenter. It had not registered yet in Kai's mind that she was free, that Rey had saved her. Kai's thoughts blurred together and soon she was by Rey's side as she desperately tried to wake the dark skinned man.

"Finn.. Finn get up," Rey begged.

Kai stood ridged, staring down at Finn. A light drew Kai's attention away from the fallen man, looking up to see a large spacecraft- the Millennium Falcon, as she'd later come to learn- hovered above the ridge, piloted by a wookie.

The wookie bellowed and beckoned for Rey, who desperately tried to lift Finn. Kai bent down and hooked her arms around him, dragging Finn with all of her effort. Soon Rey was dragging him, too; one arm being held by Rey and the other by Kai.

They dragged him up the spaceship's ramp, and the wookie assisted them in pulling Finn up into a bed.

"You can pilot this?" Kai asked Rey as she headed towards the cockpit.

"I can pilot anything."


	7. Rebirthing

**_So this chapter contains a few lemons between Kai and Rey; or 'Rai', which is my ship name for them. How many lemon? Like, three lemon. Maybe two._**

•••

Throughout her entire career as a Sith, Kai had been trained to hate and loathe the Resistance. Yet here she was, landing at the enemy's base. Kai could feel a knot of nerves twisting in her stomach as they landed, her nerves only growing from there. Kai knew Rey would have her walk out of the Falcon with her, and the Resistance would see her. But Kai wasn't afraid of being seen, she was afraid of what they'd do.

Kai had taken the families of Resistance members, Kai had taken their homes. They would not approve of her being on their base.

"They'll think I'm a mole," Kai said, not meaning to speak aloud.

"What's that?" Rey asked softly, coming to stand in front of Kai as the wookie, Chewbacca, picked Finn up gingerly in his arms and carried him out of the ship.

"Your people won't accept me." Kai told Rey, stating what was on her mind.

"Kai," Rey said gently, her fingers gently pressing against Kai's cheek.

"Don't 'Kai' me." Kai said briskly, looking away. "I'm a murderer. I've killed their own, their families.. their children.. their parents. They won't accept me."

"But I accept you." Rey said, holding Kai's face in her hands.

"You are not the entire Resistance." Kai said grimly.

"No," Rey admitted, smiling, as her fingers closed around Kai's palm again. "But I'm someone who cares about you. Now, let's go. You can't hide in the Falcon."

Kai hesitated for a moment when Rey's touch left her, but she followed Rey outside into the bright. The first thing Kai saw was the mob of people. They stared at her as Kai followed Rey down the ramp of the Falcon, and towards an older lady.

"It's Ren's apprentice!" Someone hissed.

"She killed my son!"

The people were around her, forcing Kai to her knees as a man in front of her raised her fist. Kai closed her eyes, waiting for impact, but none ever came.

"Enough!"

Kai's eyes peered up to see Rey shoving Kai's assailants away. "She's with me. Kai saved my life." Rey helped Kai to her feet, then looked back to the elder woman.

"Kai, this is Leia. General Leia Organa. She's the leader of the Resistance. Leia.. this is Kai. Kai is... was.. your son's apprentice."

"You knew Ben?" Leia asked.

Kai nodded. "I knew him well enough." She said softly.

Leia nodded grimly as she waved a man over.

"Poe.. could you lead Rey and Kai to their bunkers? And Rey, I'd like to speak with you later."

Rey nodded, then she paused. "General Leia, of you don't mind.. will you allow me to share a bunker with Kai? She needs me. Kai's be through a lot."

Leia seemed to be pondering Rey's request, and after a moment she nodded. "Yes. Kai may stay with you. But I'll trust that you will stay separate beds."

"Yes," Rey said, though Kai could see the blush creeping onto Rey's features, "You can trust us."

Leia smiled, and Poe replicated Leia's gesture.

"Follow me, ladies." Poe instructed.

•••

The bunker Poe lead the two girls to was deep under the earthy terrain. Kai had no belongings, and neither did Rey, so there were no lost things to worry about. There were two beds, as Leia had said; and Kai sat down on the one closest to the door. But as soon as they were alone Rey was tending to Kai's wounds.

"Here we are again," Kai said with a small smile, watching as Rey bandaged her cut hands and dabbed ointments brought by a medic on the cuts the lay on Kai's face. Rey chuckled softly, dabbing something onto a jagged cut around Kai's right eye.

"Here we are." Rey echoed with a smile.

"Rey?" Kai asked, glancing down at the girl.

"What?"

"Thank you."

Rey smiled and pressed her forehead against Kai's gently cupping the back of Kai's head with her hand.

"And I thank you." Rey said softly, and then they were silent again as Rey bandaged and soothed Kai's many wounds.

"I feel like what happened earlier didn't count." Rey finally said after a long while.

"What are you talking about?" Kai asked softly, as Rey sat beside her. The two gazed at each other, green eyes locking into brown ones.

"This," Rey said softly as she leaned into Kai and kissed her. Kai kissed back, feeling- for once- as though she were complete. Rey's hands found Kai's face, and in return Kai wrapped her arms around Rey's slim waist.

The kiss, their kiss, was made up of emotions that Kai had never known before. It was gentle and warm, and Rey's lips were soft and welcoming. This was not the angry, forceful kisses with Kylo- but rather something affectionate. It was not a kiss that sought out answers to the questions Kai had asked herself to try and explain the reason she wanted and needed Rey like the one on the First Order's base.

One kiss became two, and two became four before Kai and Rey separated and Kai pulled Rey close and hugged Rey tight.

Kai was not about to let anything happen to Rey.

"I love you."

"And I love you."

•••

Kai did not like seeing Rey go.

Leia, however, had summoned the young scavenger and Rey had asked Kai to stay. So Kai stayed, lost in her own thoughts.

Kylo Ren.. Ben Solo.. he hadn't come from a bad home. Why did he end up the way he did? How did he become the hot-blooded maniac he was?

Kai sighed and rubbed her eyes. She had not come from a bad family, either. But, then again, Kai didn't remember her family. Kai had blocked out the memories of her childhood, and she planned on asking Rey about her own life when she returned.

Rey finally returned to the bunker after what seemed like forever to Kai. Rey carried a bundle of something, and handed it to Kai.

"Clothes." Rey informed Kai. "The Resistance have decided that you can stay. However, you're to lose the cape and tunic. For now, you can keep your lightsaber."

Kai investigated the dull, beige clothing. They were like the garments she wore now, only it was not the color of the Sith. Kai stood up, gingerly taking her cloak and dropping it on the floor, and then began taking off her tunic, her back to Rey.

"I'm supposed to leave in the morning." Rey finally blurted out. Kai froze, looking over her shoulder. Kai's torso was still bare, but she showed no shame towards Rey seeing her.

"You're leaving?" Kai's voice held a hurt tone, a tone that Kai had not meant to use.

"Yes.. General Leia has given me the map to Luke. They want me to find and train with him." Rey said softly.

"You can't leave.. I just found you. I can't lose you." Kai said pleadingly. Kai's chest felt heavy, and soon she felt Rey's arms around her; Rey's head resting on Kai's shoulder.

"You won't lose me." Rey said gently.

"I don't want you out of my sight." Kai said. "Rey.. if you're going to learn the ways of the Jedi, you can't love me. You can't love."

"We have tonight together." Rey said, changing the subject. "I know it's not a long time.. but.. it's something. Besides, I doubt anyone will scold us if we share a bed."

Kai raised an eyebrow as she glanced back at Rey. "Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting, Rey?"

"I might be." Rey said with a small laugh, burying her face into the crook of Kai's neck.

"What if someone walks in on us?" Kai asked, her eyebrows knitting together.

"I doubt anyone would." Rey responded simply, pressing a gentle kiss to Kai's temple.

"Are you sure?"

"Very sure."

•••

Rey was not like Kylo.

This was not pent up rage being released upon Kai, but affection. Undying affection that Kai reciprocated. Rey's skin was warm and Kai learned not to tangle her fingers too tightly in Rey's hair or they would get tangled. Rey paid mind to Kai's wounds, doing her best not to touch the blaster wound on Kai's hip that was still tender and slightly blackened.

But for once, there was no screaming.

There was no pain, no hurting.

They were together, though their time was short.

And when it was over, they were tangled together- sweaty and shaking.

But they were happy, and they were in love.

But still, Kai did not want Rey to leave. Even after Rey fell asleep, Kai lay there, thinking. Kai's arm was draped across Rey's bare waist, and Rey was curled into Kai's form. The only thing covering the duo was the blanket on Rey's bed, so of anyone walked inside- the two were screwed. Kai made the decision that if Rey left, Kai left with her.


	8. Whispers in the Dark

When Kai awoke Rey was still in her arms, and the synthetic sunlight filtering through the light on the bunker's ceiling, illuminating Rey's skin, was rather dim- but just enough for Kai to see the tan on Rey's skin. Kai yawned and propped her head up on her free arm, staring down at Rey with a happy smile. Gently, Kai brushed a few stray hairs from Rey's face. Rey grumbled and grabbed the thin blanket, curling up and pulling it closer- nearly pulling the blanket off of Kai's body. Kai laughed softly, pressing a kiss to the corner of Rey's lips, then her cheek as she tried to kiss Rey awake.

Rey grumbled again and batted gently at Kai's face. "Stop that," Rey growled playfully, a small grin forming on her lips.

"Or what?" Kai growled back, her own grin tearing across her features.

"Or I'll.. I'll... I don't know.." Rey grumbled, rolling over onto her other side and burying her face in the hollow of Kai's throat. Kai grinned and rested her chin on the top of Rey's head.

"You're so threatening," Kai laughed softly, moving to press a kiss to Rey's nose.

"Hush," Rey growled, curling closer to Kai, which made Kai's grin widen.

"I do believe it's time to get up," Kai said with a small smile as she yawned, sitting up and pulling the blanket up to cover her breasts for the sake of anyone who might walk inside. Rey rolled onto her back and propped herself up with her elbows.

"Are you going to be okay?" Rey asked, biting her lip.

"I'll be fine, I think." Kai said softly. "I do wish I could come with you."

"Maybe you can." Rey said, hope filling her voice. "I'll talk to Leia. And if she says no.. I'll sneak you aboard."

Kai raised an eyebrow. "You want to sneak me aboard the Millennium Falcon?"

"If Leia says no." Rey corrected, leaning up to press a kiss to Kai's lips. With a small yawn, Rey shoved the blanket off of her body and threw her legs over the edge of the bed. There was a small shower unit in the corner of the bunker, Rey planned on using it. Kai grinned and watched Rey walk into the smaller room, the doors sliding shut behind the bare form of Kai's... was 'girlfriend' the right word? What did this make the duo, lovers? Friends with benefits?

Kai hoped it was more of option A than it was option B. Kai rubbed her eyes, then rose out of bed to collect her new clothes and fit them onto her muscular, yet thin, form. She paused for a moment, blinking down at her tattoos before pulling the new tunic over her bare form. The beige garment was a little too big for Kai, so she grabbed the black saber belt from her old Sith outfit and tied it around her waist. She retrieved her saber and tucked it into the holster the belt held for her weapon. Rey still wasn't out by then, so Kai began fixing her hair once more in her usual fashion- pulled back on the top, braided on the sides. Kai sat on the bed once she was finished with that, Rey emerging moments later. Rey's body was dried and clothed but her hair- which was let down for once- was still wet.

"Nice to see your face, beautiful." Kai hummed with a small grin.

Rey laughed softly, a smile adorning her lips. "You think I'm beautiful?" Kai was surprised that Rey had even asked.

"Of course I think you're beautiful." Kai said incredulously. "You are beautiful, Rey."

"Kai.." Rey looked away.

"You think I'm lying? Rey, I can sense lies.." Kai said gently. "I would not lie to you. You are very, very beautiful. You're breathtaking."

"Funny, not many people find scavengers attractive." Rey said thoughtfully, fixing her hair absentmindedly.

"Well, I do." Kai sniffed, raising her chin with a small grin.

Rey's small smile became a happy grin. "Well, I'm glad you think that. Now, let's go talk to Leia about getting you on the Falcon."

•••

They walked together, side by side.

Sith by Jedi. (Or was it Jedi and Jedi now? Kai didn't know.)

Lover by lover.

"General?" Rey called out amidst the crowd of people gathered inside the control center of the Resistance's base.

Leia peered around a corner, eyebrows knit tight in wonder and confusion, and made her way towards the couple.

"Is something bothering you, Rey?"

"Sort of." Rey admitted. "I want to bring Kai with me to find Master Skywalker."

"Bring Kai?" Leia asked, pursing her lips. "Rey, I'm not sure bringing a Sith-"

"Ex-Sith," Rey cut in.

"-Ex-Sith," Leia corrected herself with a sigh, "Is the best idea."

"Kai can protect me, help train me." Rey pleaded.

"I'm no master.." Kai said softly, "But I can help Rey with the Force."

Leia's hands rested on her hips and she sighed softly. "Rey, you're going to take Kai even if I say no, aren't you?" Rey nodded slowly, causing Leia to sigh. "Fine. Take Kai."

A small grin spread across Rey's lips and she hugged Leia.

"Thank you."

•••

"We have to say goodbye to Finn before we leave." Rey said firmly as she led Kai towards the medical bay.

"Finn? Isn't he the man that is lying in a coma?" Kai asked, looking over at Rey as they walked.

"Yes. But he's my best friend, we have to say goodbye." Rey said again as they entered the bay.

Kai leaned against a wall, watching Rey speak softly to Finn. Kai hardly knew the ex-trooper, had hardly known or spoken to Finn even when he was a Stormtrooper. Kai had not mastered the skill Kylo had of using the Force to read minds, but Kai knew that Rey loved Finn. Not as Rey loved Kai, but as one would love a brother or a pet; although 'pet' was not a good example. Gently, Kai placed a hand on Rey's shoulder, pressing a kiss to her temple.

"I'm going to help load the Falcon. I'll be waiting." She said gently. Rey nodded, staring down at her fallen friend.

Kai paused for a moment, watching Rey again, but then she started walking out towards the dock where she was greeted by Leia.

"She loves you." Leia said as the two stood gazing at the Falcon.

"What?" Kai looked beside her at Leia, surprised and a little confused.

"Rey. She's in love with you." Leia repeated. "That's true, isn't it?"

"Yes." Kai said softly.

"And you love her?" Leia asked, her tone becoming rather motherly.

"I do. I love her with all my being." Kai said edgily. "How'd you find out about us?"

"The walls aren't soundproof, my dear."

•••

Kai sat waiting in the co-pilot chair of the Falcon, examining the hilt of her lightsaber. Two droids had been loaded onto the Falcon with her, one named C3-PO and another called R2-D2. Apparently, according to Poe, they had been Skywalker's droids.

"Ready to go?" Kai was drawn to Rey's voice, and she smiled as she tilted her head back and looked at Rey.

"Yes. Are you, my dear?" Kai replied, tucking her lightsaber back into her belt.

"'My dear'?" Rey asked, surprised at the sudden nickname.

Kai gave a small nod and patted the pilot seat next to her with a welcoming smile.

"Yes. You. My dear. Beautiful." Kai chuckled. "Now, let's go find Skywalker."

•••

The trip was not silent, and the two exchanged memories. Childhood memories, everything they could share.

Kai learned that Rey had been abandoned on Jakku at five, that Rey never knew her parents and every day of her life was scavenge or die. Rey told everything in detail, down to the feel of the sun on her skin and finding the AT-AT that she'd lived in until now, and Rey learned that while Kylo and Kai had never loved each other, that Kylo was all Kai had- and the intimacy between Master and Apprentice was initiated by Kylo's rage and hate, and Kylo was only mostly using Kai for his own pleasure and Snoke was fine with that. Both were broken and bent in crazy ways and alone they were only a half of one piece, but together they were whole. They were connected, bonded.

Kai felt Rey's anxiety build when Skywalker's chain of islands came to view, coming closer and closer.

"It'll be fine," Kai said gently as Rey eased the Falcon onto one of the rocky, mountainous islands.

"How do you know?" Rey questioned, tapping her fingers against the blue saber's hilt.

"Because I have hope. Now, come. Let's find Skywalker."


	9. Falling Inside the Black

Skywalker's island was not much, Kai saw that right away. A rock here, boulder there... some grass, a set of stairs. But this was Rey's journey.

"Go," Kai told her gently, sitting on the ramp of the Falcon. "I'll wait right here."

"Are you sure?" Rey asked, glancing down at Kai.

"Pretty sure. This is your journey, not mine." Kai responded briskly. "Besides," Kai added, more gently, "I'm sure Skywalker would be more pleased to see you than he'd be to see me."

"He knows you?" Rey questioned.

"I'm Kylo's apprentice. Kylo was training me before he'd even left Skywalker's care." Kai said with a small smile, drawing her legs to her chest and resting her folded arms on her knees. "Now go."

Rey, with great reluctance, gave a small nod and turned to begin making her way up the mountain stairs. Kai watched her go, turning her attention to the ocean waters. Kai preferred to stay out of large bodies of water, as she didn't know how to swim too well and because Kylo would torment her with the liquid. When they were younger, Kylo had tried to drown Kai because she hadn't been able to properly use telekinesis; however, hating being in the water didn't deter Kai from looking at it. Water was always so... tranquil and at peace, unless there was a storm.. then the water became angry and vengeful. Kai, in the back of her mind, could hear her mother's voice telling her about Kai's father- a noble, caring man who had died before Kai was born.

Kai suddenly missed Rey, the ocean having brought back the thought of Kai's lover. Rey had always wanted to see an ocean, she had told Kai that on the way to Skywalker's location. Kai hoped that Rey would return soon and- in Kai's opinion-, she didn't care if Rey came back with or without Luke.

Kai could teach Rey. Sure, Luke was a master of the Light side, but even Kylo and Kai had first had to master the Light to delve into the Dark. After an hour of anxious waiting Kai came to her feet, stretching briefly, and quickly began to follow the path Rey had took up the mountain. The stairs seemed to go on and on, an infinite path set in stone. Kai could feel the mentality of the place; solemn, almost sad.. but also tranquil, like the ocean. It was a place of refuge and isolation.

And a place of shame.

Kai could see Rey's cloak flickering ahead, and Kai stopped a few yards away from her to see him.

Luke Skywalker of the legends, the stories. Kai froze, and Luke's eyes caught sight of the ex-Sith. Rey sensed Luke's... displeasure? Recognition? A feeling among those lines, mixed with something that wasn't clear to Kai. But Rey turned, extending her hand to Kai.

"She's with me, Master Skywalker." Rey said softly, leaning against the taller, sturdier Kai.

"She's a Sith," Luke said, his tone just as calm.

"She was a Sith." Kai said defensively. "But I'm not anymore."

"You were part of the First Order." A statement, not an accusation.

"I renounced the First Order." Kai replied. "My name is Kai. Kai Hristo."

"Yes," Luke said quietly. "I remember. Ben turned you."

Kai bit down on her lip, and she said nothing more. Kai felt Rey's fingers brush gently against her own as the scavenger piped up.

"We came to bring you back."

"Back? No, no. There's no place for me there," Luke said as he turned away from the girls to stare out over the ocean.

"Leia misses you. She sent us," Rey was trying to convince him.

"Leia?" Luke's voice sounded quizzical, and Kai heard Luke exhale quietly. "Leia doesn't need me."

"But I do. Kai and I both. We need someone to train us.. and you're the last Jedi." Rey said hopefully.

"I don't know, girl.. I'm not much of a teacher. Look at Ben." But Kai knew Luke was pondering the idea, at least.

"Kylo.. Ben.. is weak, consumed by hatred and anger." Kai spoke up. "He acts upon fury and indecision. But we come peacefully."

Luke sighed. "Well, you're already here.. and you made the journey. I suppose I could give it a try. We'll start in the morning."

Kai, out of the corner of her eye, saw a grin spread across Rey's face. A happy, enthused grin. Rey's grin made Kai smile, too.

•••

Nightfall had fallen across the planet, and Kai and Rey were back at the Falcon. Luke had requested to see the droids, so Rey had given them to their original master. The two sat in front of a fire; Kai sitting cross legged, her hands on her knees, as she meditated. Rey's head was in Kai's lap, and she was staring up at the night sky.

"Kai, when will people stop thinking of you as a Sith?" Rey wondered. Kai half-opened one eye, glancing down at Rey before shutting it again.

"Never, probably. Perhaps when people forget about what I've done, the lives I've stolen." Kai responded.

"That's no way to think," Rey said with a frown.

"No, but it's the logical way." Kai said, giving up on mediating and opening her eyes, staring down at Rey with a small, sad smile. "People do not easily forget what they have lost or had taken from them." Rey nodded slowly, just as somber as Kai, as she rolled onto her side, her head now resting on Kai's right knee as she took Kai's hand absentmindedly, checking on the cuts that were scarring over. Kai looped the fingers of her free hand gently through Rey's hair, smiling down at her.

"But as of now," Kai added, "I don't care what everyone thinks. I have you, and you care." Rey smiled softly at Kai's words before sitting up and molding herself into Kai's form- Rey's back pressed against Kai's chest. Kai sighed softly, resting her chin on top of Rey's shoulder.

"We have a long day ahead of us," Rey said quietly, looking back up at the stars.

"Indeed we do," Kai replied, just as quietly.

•••

Kai awoke to the R2 droid beeping at herself and Rey. Kai groaned, curling into herself and pulling the blanket over her, hoping to drown out the droid's beeping. It was the first night that Kai and Rey had not slept side-by-side in a long time, as the only bed was too small; there was no hope to even attempt to fit both of them onto it. For once, Rey was the first to get up, shaking Kai awake gently.

"C'mon," Re said with a small yawn, "It's time to start training."

Groggily, Kai flung the blanket off of herself, pushing herself onto her feet.

"The sun has barely risen," Kai complained, as she was one to value her sleep.

"We'd best comply to Luke's wishes." Rey said sternly, pulling her cloak onto her thin shoulders. Kai replicated Rey's actions and followed the droid beside Rey. Kai rubbed her eyes, glancing at the sunrise.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Rey asked with a grin, following Kai's gaze as she sidled up against the ex-Sith as Kai draped an arm around Rey's shoulder.

"It's okay," Kai said with a grin, "But.. it dims in comparison to you."

Rey chuckled softly, resting her head against Kai's shoulder as they approached Skywalker. The old man was sitting on the ground cross legged, staring at the two who quickly separated.

"Come, sit," Skywalker said, gesturing to the ground in front of him. Obediently, the two girls sat down in front of Luke in the same fashion Luke sat.

"Close your eyes.. Focus.. feel everything around you," Luke said before becoming silent again. Kai and Rey did as they were told, and Kai took a deep breath. The silence was greater than anything Kai had felt, but it was not an ominous silence like Kai was used to. Kai felt everything; Luke's life force, Rey's life force pulling towards her, beckoning her. Kai felt the calm, the tranquility of the moment. Kai felt the pull of the moon on the waves, the balance of everything here.

"Do you feel it?" Luke ask, his voice nearly startling Kai. "The pull of the Force, the pull to the Light side?"

"I feel it," Rey murmured. Kai felt it, too, but she also felt the Dark side pulling at her, whispering to her.

"The Force is in us all," Luke told them. "But it is stronger in some than in others. The Force brings clarity and responsibility, but also hurt and fear. As for the clarity, think. Think back to the earliest memory you hold in your mind."

Kai took a deep breath and thought.

 _Warmth._

 _A gentle smile._

 _Kai is with her mother and her infant sibling. Kai cannot remember her mother's name, nor can she remember her brother's. Kai's mother is reading to her, her mother's silky voice taking Kai places that alone the girl could not travel. The story is about Kai's father, a grand rich man that fell in love with the wrong woman. Kai loves this story, it is all she has of the father figure she wishes she could know._

 _But her mother's voice falters. When Kai's eyes flutter open, tears are dripping from her mother's eyes._

 _"That is all for the night, my darling. Go to sleep."_

 _And so Kai falls asleep, but not for long._

 _When she wakes up something feels wrong. It is too hot, too bright. Kai stumbles from her bed, searching for her mother._

 _That is Kai's mistake. When she opens her door, there is flames everywhere._

 _"Mommy!" Kai sobs, looking around._

 _Brother is crying, the flames are snapping angrily. Kai stumbles forwards, coughing. The smoke burns her lungs and the fire laps at her feet, but she keeps moving. Kai reaches to open her mother's door, and the angry orange beast that is the fire leaps at her just as Kai collapses. She covers her face with raw hands and her left leg is consumed with an angry pain._

 _Then she feels arms around her, pulling her, lifting her up._

 _It is Kai's mother, her face streaked with soot. Kai clings to her mother, trying to ignore the pain. She looks down but the flesh of her leg is gone and all there is is bone and muscles and burning and she sees the man in the hood raising the blaster and-_

 _"No!"_

 _"No!"_ Kai screams, her eyes snapping open as her chest heaved. Kai reaches a shaking hand up towards her eyes and touches the tears that begin to fall from her face.

Luke and Rey stared at her, and Kai can't hold on any longer to her fear, her sadness.

The tears come like rain, her shoulders shaking in silent sobs as she buried her face on her hands.

"Kai?" Rey asked gently.

"No, no.." Kai's voice was hoarse, an airy whisper. "Mom.. no.."

Rey's arms are around her now, pulling her close. Kai buried her face in Rey's neck, her teeth bared to try and stop the tears in vain. Kai forces herself to calm down.

"Kai," Rey asked again, her tone filled with concern as her fingers gently press against Kai's cheek, "What happened?"

"I saw my mom," Kai whispered. "I.. I.." Kai can't speak anymore, and Rey hugged her close again.

•••

Kai refused to try to remember anything else after that moment. So, reluctantly, Skywalker suggested they took a break. Silently, Rey took Kai's hand in her fingers, leading her silently back to the Falcon. They walk in silence, although Rey was itching to know what was bothering Kai, so once they entered the Falcon Rey sat Kai down, taking Kai's face in her hands.

"Tell me," She pleaded, gently brushing a few loose strands of hair from Kai's eyes. So the truth spilled from Kai's mouth, and Kai found Rey's arms around her again as Kai sobbed into Rey's neck.

"Rey.. what if I can't do this?"

"Do what?" Rey asked gently.

"Accept the Light side," Kai said, squeezing her eyes shut. "Rey, I am a monster. You say I'm not, but I am. Rey, I have killed more people than the Resistance has saved. And.. and I liked it."

"Stop it, Kai." Rey said gently. "You are not a monster. You've already pushed the Dark side away."

"I haven't gotten rid of it, Rey. I can't. It eats at me, gnaws on me.. it wants me, Rey. I hear it now."

"Kai. Kai, listen to me." Rey said, her hands on Kai's face again. "You are strong. Stronger than the Dark side. It doesn't own you. You can fight it."

"I can't fight it, Rey.. I can't.."

"Yes, you can!" Rey says, her tone an encouraging growl. "Fight it with me. Fight it with someone who loves you."

"Rey.. I can't-"

Rey pressed her lips against Kai's, silencing her.

"You have to." Rey said quietly. "I need you."


	10. Never Surrender

_When Kai wakes up she is in a white room, lying flat on her back on some sort of metal table. Kai tries to prop herself up, but she finds that she can't move. Her arms are restrained, and so are her legs._

 _But there's no feeling in her left leg, it's like.._

 _Like it's not there._

 _Panic snaps at Kai's young mind and she thrashes, trying to break free as the tears roll down her face. As she panics she catches a glimpse at the leg that is not her own, a new appendage that comes up to her knee. It is silver, lined with black._

 _Kai doesn't remember what has happened. All Kai wants to do is scream and cry, and then she remembers Mother and Brother are dead and it is only Kai._

Kai jolted awake, her hands shaking, as she whipped her head around; the memories were coming more fluidly now, mostly when she's asleep. She was in the Falcon, and Rey was stirring awake.

Kai must've screamed.

"Kai.. what's wrong?" Came Rey's groggy voice.

"Nothing," Kai lied, lying back down on the bed she had made for herself on the floor.

"Kai," Rey said, more sternly, as she pushed herself onto her feet and slowly walked to Kai's side, sitting down on the makeshift bed. "What's wrong?"

Kai sighed, looking up at Rey. "I remember."

"Remember what?" Rey asked gently, lying down and sidling up against Kai, Rey's back to Kai's chest. Kai draped an arm across Rey's waist, pulling her closer.

"Bits and pieces of the past," Kai whispers, resting her head where Rey's shoulder and neck connected, her breath warm in Rey's ear.

"Good or bad?" Rey asked gently, gently pressing one of her hands against the one of Kai's that rested on Rey's stomach.

"Both." Kai replied, "But mostly the bad. There's a lot of bad."

"What did you remember this time?" Rey's voice was soft, encouraging. Kai trusted Rey and loved Rey with all of her being, but Kai still had not learned that she could tell Rey anything. Rey didn't know too much of Kai's past, but she felt it was best to not pry. The ex-Sith had been through numerous terrors that Kai probably didn't want to relive.

"I remembered waking up and realizing I didn't have a leg anymore." Kai murmured. The words were sad, and even now Kai was reminded of the sleek, metal appendage that was now her leg. Rey wasn't sure how to respond. Sure, Rey had had her fair share of hardships- but Kai's life had not been a hardship. Kai's life had been a straight shot of terror and massacres. Rey understood, now, that Kai had been forced into the Darkness as a child, and that was all she knew. Yet Kai also had refused all she had ever known for Rey. Kai had known that she'd be punished for helping- or even loving- Rey. And Rey admired Kai for all of that.

"Kai?" Rey asked softly.

"Hm?" Kai responded.

"I love you. So much," Rey said quietly.

"And I love you." Kai responded softly. After that they were quiet, and they were together.

•••

 _Kai remembers seeing him for the first time._

 _'He' is a thin boy maybe four years older than Kai herself, with jet black hair darker than Kai's and a sharp, hatchet-like face. He looks angry, and as they get older Kai learns that anger is all he, Kylo Ren, has. Kylo is the one that enters the white room first. He stares at Kai like she is a strange animal in a zoo and he is a tourist._

 _"Did it hurt?" He asks her._

 _"Did what hurt?" Kai asks._

 _"Your leg. Did it hurt to lose it?"_

 _Kai nods. "Will you let me out of these?"_

 _"Can you walk?" Is Kylo's response._

 _"I.. I don't know." Kai responds._

 _So he lets her out, and Kai stares down at her mismatching legs. She eases herself onto a weak leg and a leg she,d never used before. And, as all first tries go, Kai fell. But he catches her, and he smiles._

 _"I won't let you fall."_

When Kai awoke the second time Rey is sitting beside her, gently brushing loose strands of hair from Kai's face.

"Morning, you." Kai grumbled, managing a groggy smile.

"Morning." Rey responded, bending to press a kiss to Kai's forehead. "Feeling better?"

"I feel fine." Kai told her, not bothering to elaborate. The two were connected, and if she lied Rey would know. But Rey accepted the answer, and she pressed a kiss to Kai's lips.

"Do you think Skywalker would miss us for a few moments?" Rey ponders, pushing Kai onto her back and gently lying on top of her. Kai chuckled softly, wrapping her arms around Rey's slender waist.

"Is it a chance you want to risk?" Kai questioned as Rey pressed her lips to Kai's. Kai felt Rey smile against her lips, and when Rey pulls away she gave Kai one answer.

"Yep,"

•••

They end it as they always do, pressed against each other- skin against skin. Rey's skin is surprisingly soft for one who had grown up in the desert, whereas Kai's skin is rough and scarred. Rey was resting on top of her, Rey's head resting in the hollow of Kai's throat and Kai's chin on the top of Rey's head. Rey planted a gentle kiss against Kai's jugular, and Kai gently nuzzled her face against Rey's hair.

"I still believe you're the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on," Kai murmured lovingly.

"You're still on that?" Rey asked with a grin.

"Of course I am, beautiful." Kai grinned. "I think-"

But Kai never finished that sentence, because the ship's holographic system beeped and flashed on, a message was coming from the Resistance. Rey murmured a curse and gently pushed herself off of Kai, scrambling to toss Kai's cloak over her shoulders and pulling it close over her skin to cover up her bare form.

Kai pulled on her tunic, her hurry much slower than her lover's, and meandered towards the holograph table. An image fizzed to life, the sound crackling at first. The image was Poe, and he was grinning.

"Hey, Poe!" Rey said with a grin.

"Hey, Rey." Poe responds. "Someone wants to talk to you."

The image fizzed again, shifting, and soon it is Finn staring at Rey.

"Finn!" Rey's voice was ecstatic, and she grinned happily. "Kai, he's awake." Kai nodded slowly, smiling.

"What're things like out there?" Finn asks.

Kai decided she didn't like how Finn looked at Rey.

"It's so beautiful, Finn." Rey says, her voice filled with awe. "There's an ocean, and the feel of the wind.."

Kai's mouth formed a straight line, and she bit down on her lip.

"I, uh, I'm gonna get some fresh air." Kai spoke up, walking up behind Rey and pressing a kiss to her temple. "I want my cloak back when you're finished."

Kai wanted Finn to know Rey was hers, that the young Jedi was not available. Kai felt the heat rising in Rey's cheek and felt Rey's... embarrassment, surprise? One of the two, maybe both. Finn didn't know about Kai and Rey, he'd slipped into his coma before Kai and Rey had really 'gotten together'. Kai had felt Finn's love for Rey, and it was not like the love Rey shared for him. No, Finn loved Rey as Kai did, and Kai didn't want any competition. Kai's action caused Rey to become flustered, and Kai heard Finn's voice as she walked towards the ramp.

"Are you.. and her...?"

"Yeah, I really care about her, Finn. I love her," Rey said brightly. Rey's words made Kai smile. Perhaps.. perhaps there was no competition, as she had had with Kylo. Maybe Rey really didn't love anyone else, and Finn was nothing to her. Kai sat on a rock amidst the grass, feeling the wind against her bare arms, Rey was right- the wind did feel nice against her skin. Kai smiled to herself, and a few moments later she peered up to see Rey approaching her. Rey had dressed herself and carried Kai's cloak in her arms.

"Hey, you," Rey smiled, pressing a loving kiss to Kai's lips.

"Hey," Kai responded, smiling, as Rey draped the cloak around Kai's shoulders.

"So.. Finn.. does he approve?" Kai asked, glancing at Rey, who nodded happily.

"He seemed.. sad, at first. But he approves." Rey said. "Leia has also ordered us to try and convince Skywalker to return to the Resistance. There's word Kylo and Snoke are plotting something."

Kai nodded. "Go get the old man, I'll go make sure everything's in the Falcon."

•••

"It's been many a year that I've been on this ship," Luke said quietly. The old man was nervous, Kai sensed it. She was beginning to understand that she was connected to many living beings, though the closest bond she shared with any of these living things was Rey.

"Don't worry, Rey's a great pilot." Kai said. Luke was in the co-pilot chair, and Kai sat on the bed Rey had occupied the previous night.

"It's not Rey's piloting skills I'm worrying of," Luke said grimly, to which Kai did not respond. They sit in silence for a while, until Luke's voice filled the air again. "I can't help but notice you two are... close."

Kai can feel Rey's small squeeze of panic.

"Rey saved my life," Kai piped up. "I got hit by a blaster and damaged my leg, Rey fixed me up."

"Kai rescued me from the Starkiller Base," Rey counters, and Kai felt a playful competitiveness building up which caused Kai to grin. "Kai battled the Dark side, and let the Light in."

"Thanks to you," Kai added, grinning at Rey.

Her beautiful Rey.

Kai felt Rey's happiness, and it warmed Kai's stomach like the feeling one gets after drinking or eating something warm. It was a beautiful feeling, a loving feeling.

Luke felt it, too.

"You know.. there is a law against the Jedi being able to feel emotion. Many spend years learning to ignore... urges."

"What can possibly come from love that is bad?" Rey asked with a child-like wonder.

"Darth Vader, for one." Is all Luke responded with.

•••

Surprises are often common in life, Kai had figured that much out. Rey was a surprise, a good surprise albeit. And the surprise waiting back for the trio at the Resistance's base was good, too. Finn was up and had walked around quite a bit, with the help of Poe. According to Leia, the fighter pilot had never left the ex-trooper's side. The moment Kai, Rey, and Luke left the Falcon there was applause. Rey grinned, Kai smiled meekly. Luke seemed wary until Leia welcomed him home, hugging her twin.

The hellos were intense, and Kai found herself wanting to get away from it all. Kai was not a people person, and preferred to stay away from large crowds. Her fingers found Rey's hand, and Kai gave Rey's hand a gentle squeeze.

Kai also found herself trying something new.

Can we go somewhere private? Please? Kai directed her thoughts towards Rey, who looked surprised and glanced over at Kai. After a moment, Rey gave a small nod.

To where? Was Rey's response, and Kai gave a small grin.

This meant that their bond was strong, Kai believed.

Can we go back to the bunker? It's too loud here. I don't like all of the people. Kai spoke mentally, and Rey nodded her consent.

The walk was not long and as the crowd was left behind Kai felt her anxiety drifting away.

"How'd you do that? The telepathy?" Rey asked with a grin.

"Same way you did," Kai murmured with a shrug, "I just directed what I wanted to say towards you."

"This is a good thing, right?" Rey asked with an enthused grin. Rey was always proud to gain or learn a new ability, sort of like a child impressed with a sketch they'd done.

"I believe so." Kai responded, smiling, as she let herself and Rey into their small, cozy bunker. It looked different now, however, and the two soon discovered that Leia had had the room rearranged. Instead of the two small beds there was now one larger bed for the couple to share.

"Kai, I didn't see Poe or Finn when we were up with the crowd." Rey suddenly remembered, frowning.

"Don't worry," Kai said gently, "Maybe you just missed them."

Rey seemed to consider that for a while before she looked over at Kai.

"Can I try something?" Rey asked as she sat cross-legged on the ground and motioned for Kai to sit across from her. Kai, curious, gave a small nod and did as Rey asked, folding her legs slightly. Rey leaned forwards so their foreheads were touching, and she gently pressed her fingers on Kai's temples as the two both closed their eyes. Kai knew what Rey was trying to do, that Rey was trying to use Kylo's mind trick, once she felt Rey's consciousness touch her own; causing Kai and Rey to shiver.

At this moment, they were one; one mind, one being, as Rey began to look through Kai's memories. Kai didn't stop Rey, and found this would be an easier way to let Rey figure out Kai's delicate, horrifying past. As soon as Kai's consciousness gave way to Rey's; Rey felt the immense, crushing pain that was Kai's past. It was like a storm cloud, large and dark, but Rey was not so easily turned from figuring Kai out. Rey saw the memories Kai had told her of, but there is more to come.

 _He is there for her throughout her entire recovery, holding her hand and helping Kai learn to walk again. Walking on the leg that has no feeling is difficult for Kai, and Kylo seems to respect her limitations. Kai is, after all, a child. Kylo tells Kai everything, as if she is a sister; although Kylo preaches hate to the girl. Kai finds herself beginning to feel something for the misunderstood boy._

 _"We're best friends. I will never leave you," He promises._

 _But after a while, things are different._

 _Kai watches him kiss the girl. She is thirteen, he is seventeen. Kylo knows Kai is there, he stares at her with the eyes of a serpent. He knows Kai likes him, yet he kisses the strange woman anyways, she is Phasma; a young member to Hux's patrol. Kylo wants Kai to feel jealous, to let Kai know that Kylo can and will take what he wants. And for a moment, Kai hates him. But soon he is back; apologizing, begging._

 _"We're best friends, Kai. I'll never leave you. I love you."_

 _Things are different again, they are older now; not too much older, however._

 _"Kill him!" Kylo yells again. It is Kai's first mission, and Kylo had captured for her Resistance informants. Kai is shaking, and her lightsaber whirs in distress. That's when he hits her for the first time, his hand striking the back of her head. She swings her blade, the tears falling, and finds that her anger towards Kylo makes it easier to kill the rest of the men, too._

 _And again, things are different._

 _Kai can walk better, though she still limps and she still kills. Kai cannot find the numbers to add to her body count, and she finds that killing the innocents helps her cope with all the anger. She almost even enjoys it. Kylo is supposed to be training her, yet he provokes her anger with taunts and jives that causes Kai to fight and be beaten every time. This time, however, is different. It ends with a kiss, an angry kiss. And it develops into so much more. This kiss does not stop Kylo's tormenting, but rather encourages it because now he has leverage against Kai._

 _And Kai finds herself asking why she loves him._

 _They have sex often, and it is always angry._

 _It is always Kylo who wants it. Kai thinks she still loves him, but Kylo is losing it. Sometimes he hits her, but she doesn't sit there helpless. Kai always fights back until he has her restrained, his powers increasingly stronger than her own._

 _She questions many things now, and often wonders why she hasn't left._

 _Perhaps it is because she feels she does not have a reason._

 _Things are different, as they are always now, and Kylo is more out of hand than ever. Kai fears he is completely gone when Kylo suggests they travel to Jakku. Destroying the Resistance is all he has on his mind, that and his hatred._

 _Pain._

 _Hot, burning pain._

 _Kylo had struck a storm trooper and it has caused the laser to strike Kai, who is in pursuit of an escaping prisoner._

 _She falls, and he leaves her._

For a while, all Rey felt is the hurt and pain of Kylo leaving Kai behind; however, soon new memories floated to Rey's consciousness.

 _Kai wakes in a stranger's bed, her head fuzzy._

 _Pain is still within her, and she remembers._

 _There is a girl staring at her, caring for her._

 _Kai cannot remember the last time anyone cared for her._

 _Soon the girl leaves, and Kai finds herself alone. Kai also finds some of her belongings are gone and for a moment Kai wants to kill the girl._

 _She is always alone, even when Kylo was there she was still alone._

 _But this is different, and Kai finds herself missing the cheeky, dirty scavenger._

 _Kai decides she likes the girl's voice._

 _Kai learns the girl's name is Rey, like a ray of Light that begs to be let in. But the Dark is still strong within her._

 _Leaving the girl was one of the hardest things Kai has ever done, and she finds herself wanting to go back to the comfort of the stranger who had spared and saved her life. But Kylo is waiting and so is his fury._

 _Kylo allows the troopers to beat her._

 _Kai decides she really does hate Kylo when she is left alone, and for the first time since she was a child Kai cries._

 _When Kai finds that Kylo is bringing a scavenger back, she panics. She does not want it to be Rey. But it is, Kai finds, and that's when the Light wins._

 _The next thing is the Kiss, their Kiss._

 _Kai likes it, Kai likes Rey. Like wasn't the right word, however, and it turned out Kai could love._

Kai felt Rey's conscious leave hers and Rey's arms around her neck. Rey felt Kai's tears begin to fall, and Kai felt Rey's.

"Kai.." Rey whispered softly, "That was.. terrible.." Rey didn't even know what to say, so instead she pressed her lips against Kai's. Kai returned the kiss, tasting Rey's tears.

"It's better now," Kai said softly. "I have you. I love you."

"And I love you."


	11. Comatose

Rey couldn't find Kai.

The girl had been missing since morning, and Rey was becoming worried. Rey's heart raced as she asked around to see if anyone had seen Kai, but the answer was either a 'no' or a 'maybe'. Rey's frustration built, and she didn't understand how hard it was to find a Sith- after all, most people still despised Kai.

"Where are you?" Rey growled lowly, mostly to herself. She was partly angry at Kai for disappearing and not letting Rey know where she went, and also because Kai had left her to wake up alone.

And Rey hated being alone.

Finally, Rey found Kai talking to Poe and Finn outside by the ships.

"-It's something important, can you handle it?" Kai finished, as Rey hadn't heard the first part.

"Of course we can," Poe grinned. "I'm the best goddamn pilot there is."

Kai smiled as she watched Poe and Finn go, and turned as Rey spoke.

"There you are!" Rey scolded, like an angry mother. "I've been looking all over for you. You didn't let me know where you were going!"

Kai frowned, "I didn't think you'd mind."

"Well I do!" Rey snapped, then pulled Kai into a hug, nuzzling her face into the hollow of Kai's throat. "Don't you ever leave me again." She growled lowly, only for Kai to hear.

Kai grinned and hugged back. "Don't worry, I won't. Oh, and Luke asked me to train you this morning. He'll take over this afternoon. He has to oversee something with Leia."

"You're going to train me?" Rey asked, grinning but also a little incredulous and surprised.

"Um, yeah. Do you see any other Jedi around?" Kai teased.

"Jedi?" Rey asked with a grin. "No.. no Jedi, just a girl with a lightsaber."

"I'll get you for that." Kai warned playfully, but she didn't mind, Kai found Rey's teasing adorable.

"You'll have to catch me first."

"That's a challenge I'm up for."

•••

"The Force is a living being," Kai began. They were sitting cross-legged in a small clearing the two had found, devoid of noise or people. It was perfect for focusing. "It lives within us all, as the Light... or the Dark."

Rey listened, curious as to where Kai was going with her teaching.

"We are all born with the Force, some more than others, and we are all born with the Light. However, we are also born with the Dark and a darkness inside of us. Some people erase it," Kai spoke gently, placing her fingers against Rey's forehead as she referred to her lover,

"Some fight it," at that point Kai was referring to herself,

"And some even embrace it." This time she spoke of Kylo, remembering his hate.

"But where there is Dark, there can always be Light." Kai breathes out softly, "The Light guides us, and it can never truly be erased. Where the Dark destroys, Light creates. There is also a fine line between Dark and Light, and it is the Gray. It is neutral, and it exists, too."

Kai paused for a moment. "I remember the Sith code, Kylo made me recite it. 'Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Through passion I gain strength, through strength I gain power. Through power I gain victory. Through victory my chains will be broken and the Force will free me'..." Kai paused again, exhaling softly as she remembered the creed she lived by for so long.

"But the Jedi also had a code, and I remember a voice whispering it to me softly, quietly, from long ago. 'There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force'."

Rey found herself listening far more closely than she had to Luke. She wasn't sure if it was because Kai was her lover, or if it was because Kai had experienced both sides of the Force.

"But both codes are true- neither are wrong. There is passion in peace, and there is strength and ignorance in knowledge. There is power in serenity, and there is victory and chaos even in harmony. And there is death, but there is also rebirth. The Force molds us all, shapes us. The Force is emotion, it is life.. but, it can also bring death and hate. That is why where there must be Jedi, there must be Sith. The chaos and harmony bring balance, and neither can survive without the other."

Kai took another pause before admitting, "I do not agree with the ways of the Jedi, but I also do not agree with the ways of the Sith."

For a while Kai did not speak again. Instead, she gently lifted Rey's chin.

"What do you feel?" Kai asked softly.

"Nothing," Rey replied.

"Close your eyes and focus... Feel around you, feel the Force tugging at every living being; keeping everything in motion." Kai said gently as Rey slowly closed her eyes. "It calls to you, it calls to all of us.. Do you hear it?"

"Yes," Rey said in a hushed whisper.

"What do you hear?"

"Everything.. I hear everything."

Kai smiled, she decided if she could ask Luke to teach Rey more often.

"I think my lesson has been covered." Kai said after a few moments.

"You're not gonna teach me to fight?" Rey asked, frowning.

"No, I think that's Luke's job." Kai said with a small grin.

•••

"Come," Kai whispered. It was nightfall, and Kai was leading Rey out of the base. She had said it was an important surprise.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Rey asked, her voice just as low, as the duo snuck around the Resistance guards.

"Of course this is a good idea!" Kai hissed, grinning. "All of my ideas are good ideas!"

Rey could've laughed at that statement as Kai led her away from the base and into the trees.

"Where are we going?" Rey asked, her voice a little louder now, trying to keep up with Kai's longer strides.

"You'll see."

Rey could hear the mischief in Kai's voice, and it's at this point that Rey knew Kai had something planned as her lover led her through the underbrush.

"Kai," Rey growled in frustration- itching to know what Kai was up to.

"Hush," Kai replied, taking Rey's hand as she led the girl towards a ledge. Rey was confused for a moment as she watched Kai sit down, pulling Rey down with her.

"We're sitting on a rock?" Rey asked, incredulous.

"Look up." Kai replied with a laugh. Rey did as she was told, and grinned.

"That's a lot of stars," Rey whispered.

"Mhm, tons of them." Kai responds with a grin as Rey sidled closer to her, leaning her head onto Kai's shoulder. "Give me your hand," Kai said quietly after a few moments.

Slowly, anxious to see what Kai was doing, Rey complied; giving Kai her hand, palm up and fingers open. Kai pressed something into Rey's palm, pushing the girl's fingers closed over the cold, smooth object.

"What is it?" Rey asked, her voice an excited, strained whisper.

"Well, look at it." Kai grinned.

Rey looked at Kai, grinning excitedly, before looking down at her palm. Slowly, her shaking fingers pulled back to reveal a small, shiny ring encrusted with...

Kai's red lightsaber crystals.

Rey covered her mouth, unable to contain her smile. But, she was also worried.

"How will you fight? Don't lightsaber run on crystals?" Rey asked, her tone hushed.

"Don't worry," Kai said with a chuckle. "I asked Poe to go on a run for me while you were busy training with Skywalker. I rebuilt my blade. It's no longer a sign of the Sith. And, uh, I hope you don't mind that those crystals are red."

"No, no.. it's beautiful. What exactly is it?" Rey asked, still grinning.

"It's a promise ring," Kai explained as she slipped the ring into one of Rey's fingers.

"A promise ring?" Rey hadn't even ever had a normal ring.

"Yeah." Kai said, "You give it to someone as a promise."

"What kind of promise?"

"Well," Kai began to think of how to explain. "A promise to marry someone."

Rey froze, shocked. She forced the words from her mouth in a barely audible whisper.

"You.. want to marry... me?"

Kai laughed softly. "Of course I do. I love you."

Rey grinned again, throwing her arms around Kai and kissing her. It was one of those kisses where there noses were squished together, and it was heaven.

Or, at least it was until the sound barrier cracked, being broken by a rather large and familiar ship.

•••

Kai and Rey ran as fast as they could, lightsabers at the ready. They had known that Kylo would attack, but they hadn't known when. But it as happening, and Kai felt the familiar animalistic fury rising in her that she always got when Kylo was near.

"You find Finn stick with him," Kai told Rey, "I don't want you out of his sight. I'll fight him alone."

Rey nodded swiftly, though reluctantly, her eyebrows knitting together in anger and hate for Kylo as she darted away. He had taken things from both of them, but Kai had a greater hate for Kylo than anything.

She would kill him.

Kai ignited her blade, a bit surprised from the now purplish tinge to it. The red was gone, she reminded herself.

For a while, there was only the sound of blasters. The troopers who had landed first shot at Kai, but as her anger built Kai slashed and deflected the lasers, returning them back to her enemies. Gone was Kai's tranquility from before, and she began slashing down enemies one by one.

Before long he was in front of them.

"Kai..." Kylo's distorted voice spoke in a bored tone.

"You," Kai growled.

"Miss me?" Kylo taunted, igniting his own blade.

"Not particularly, I'd be more pleased if you stayed away."

"Don't lie," Kylo seethed false hurt as he raised his saber, bringing it down. Kai parried it, snarling, as purple and red clashed. Kai cannot tell what Kylo is thinking under his mask, but she read his intentions just the same.

He probed at her mind.

She probed back.

He swung at her, and Kai thrust underneath his blade. Kylo moved just in time to have the purple energy graze his left shoulder rather than impale him. He hissed in anger, and Kai took the opportunity to sink her fingers underneath his mask and yank upwards, ripping Kylo's helmet from his face. Kylo screamed, more in rage than in pain. But Kai had hurt him, and she relished that.

Kai swung the mask, smacking it into Kylo's nose before throwing it.

"You're no Vader," Kai growled as she watched the blood run down Kylo's nose like a crimson river.

"You're no Jedi," Kylo retorted as he slashed his saber at Kai. Kai parried it again, shoving Kylo back a few steps. The force of the blow caused Kai to take a few steps back as well, and she waited for Kylo's move; panting. Kai felt Kylo's anger beginning to grow, and he brought his lightsaber down a second time. Kai thrust his blade back, growling again. Kylo suddenly screamed, throwing swing after swing at Kai, each blow becoming stronger and stronger. Kai felt herself weakening as Kylo began riding the crest of his hate, his lips pulled back in a silent scream of fury. Kai stumbled, sliding back onto her knees as if she's in an awkward lunge. Kylo didn't hesitate to attack, and he struck the butt of his saber's hilt across Kai's cheek. Kai collapsed onto her side, groaning, before crying out as Kylo's foot struck her ribs.

Soon he's kicking and kicking her, and Kai felt the blood spurt out of her mouth. She gritted her teeth as she heard Kylo's voice speak in a dark, ominous tone; calling out to the Stormtroopers as Kai's world began to fade.

"I have the girl. Fall back."

•••

Rey watched the Stormtroopers pulling back, a silent growl stuck on her features as the rest of the Base whooped Sith victory. Some shouted obscenities at the fleeing ships, others just screamed. Rey expected to hear Kai's voice or feel her touch, but nothing came. A sudden panic settled over Rey and her mind reached out for her lover's, but she felt nothing.

"Finn, we have to find Kai."

•••

Kai awoke in a familiar setting, with the familiar feeling of cables around her wrists. For a moment she thought it was a bad dream, and she tried to blink herself awake but it didn't work. Her face hurt from Kylo's saber, and she felt the bothering feeling of dried blood on her chin.

Kylo was staring at her, and Kai made a point to well a mixture of blood and saliva in her mouth and spat it onto Kylo's boot. Her growled silently at her, his lips peeled back in hatred.

"You're nothing without your mask." Kai spat, lunging forwards only to feel the cables bite into her skin.

"You're nothing without your precious little Rey." Kylo spat back. "She isn't here to comfort you or save you."

"Rey will find me." Kai insisted, snarling. "You have nowhere to take me, the Starkiller Base is gone."

"Don't be so sure of that." Kylo threatened. "And even if she does find you," Kylo's voice became grim and ominous, and he grinned like the sick bastard he was, "I don't think she'll want you back. Rey won't be too happy when she's learned what you've done."

"What are you talking about?" Kai demanded, straining against her bonds.

"Bring the stuff." Kylo ordered a trooper, who handed him a small syringe filled with a blue liquid. Kai had never seen the substance before, and she bucked against her restraints only to have the cables tear open old scars. Kylo examined the syringe, his twisted grin plastered to his features. "I warned you, I always get what I want. And I want an apprentice who's completely ruthless and loyal... however, Snoke has decided we only need one Sith. And, since you've been living on the Resistance Base believing you're in love with that filthy scavenger, Snoke believes you have information we can use."

Kylo was coming closer now, staring at Kai's neck. He didn't hesitate to plunge the needle of the syringe into Kai's neck, injecting the liquid into her system.

"With time, you'll find yourself craving that stuff.. it's crazy." Kylo laughed, returning the syringe to the trooper. "You'll do anything to get it. We'll check up on you later, maybe bring some more of this." Kylo spoke as Kai felt her eyelids grow heavy, some feeling washing over her that was both terrifying and pleasant.

•••

"Did you find anything?" Rey asked Finn nervously.

"No one found Kai, no one's seen her." Finn responded, just as nervous. "But.. they did find this," Finn added, holding up the ravaged mask of Kylo Ren.


	12. Awake and Alive

Rey sat in her bunker, silent. For the past three months she had tried to reach out and grasp for Kai's conscious, but every time she tried it wasn't there. Rey found herself twisting the promise ring around her finger whenever she became as worried as she was now, staring off into silence and space as the world went on around her. Poe and Finn had become distant, Kai was gone, and Rey found herself alone most of the time- like it was back in Jakku. Leia was there sometimes, like a mother; promising Rey that they would find Kai.

Rey had destroyed Kylo's mask, it held no place here other than an item of a traitor. Luke tried to press Rey to continue her training, either oblivious or disapproving to her heart break, to which Rey declined. Rey didn't want to train, her training only reminded her of Kai. And she sat on her and Kai's bed, alone, as she did most days. Rey didn't know it yet, but the day was bringing a rather big surprise towards her- even though it wasn't a surprise involving Kai.

There was a gentle knock on the bunker door, rousing Rey from her sadness. Slowly, somberly, she rose to her feet and walked to the door to give access to the people on the other side.

"Hey there, Rey," Finn said gently, giving her a hug as he and Poe entered the room.

"Hey," Rey responded softly.

"Look.. we know you've been rather.. distant, lately." Poe began, glancing nervously at Finn. "And you probably don't want to hear this right now.."

Rey gave Poe a look that spoke 'get on with it'.

"Look, you're our best friend." Finn piped up, nervously inserting his hands into the pockets of the jacket around his shoulders.

Poe's new jacket.

"And.." Rey asked lowly, squinting. She felt like she knew that this was going somewhere she wasn't going to like at the moment, and something she'd have to pretend to be happy about.

Finn glanced at Poe, as if asking 'how do we tell her'. But Rey knew, she felt it. She felt the pull that Poe and Finn had with each other, and it reminded Rey of the pull she and Kai had; though not as strong.

"You love each other." Rey said bluntly, staring at them.

"Yeah," Finn and Poe admitted sheepishly at the same time, to which caused a small smile to form on Rey's lips.

"I thought you liked me?" Rey suddenly asked, remembering Finn's disappointment when he learned that Kai and Rey were together.

"I did." Finn admitted. "But you found someone else, so I moved on. Poe was there, and things just happened."

"Well, I'm happy for you two." Rey said, but it didn't sound too convincing. Rey missed Kai, and she couldn't help but be a little jealous that Finn and Poe had each other while Rey and Kai were separated.

"Do you want to join us at the mess hall?" Finn asked, sensing Rey's loneliness.

"No, no.. I'll stay here. I'm not hungry right now."

•••

Kai hadn't seen light in months.

Kai hadn't eaten in months.

Kai also hadn't gone without being hit or kicked within months.

Kylo had been right, and after the second injection of the blue liquid Kai found herself craving it. Kai needed it, and when she didn't have the blue substance she became angry. Kai would throw herself against her restraints and scream, trying to attack anyone who came near her without the blue stuff. They had removed the cables on her arms, but they had attached one to her leg that allowed her to move through her entire cell.

But despite having next to no energy or strength, Kai's anger fueled her completely and allowed her to function. She didn't even realize that Kylo was turning her into a savage beast, one that would do anything for the blue.

Kai heard the door open, and she whipped her head around to see Kylo strutting towards her. Kai cowered into a corner of the cell, her lips pulled back into a silent snarl. Kai feared him, and she knew if she wasn't compliant he would do something to her.

Kylo carried the syringe, staring at Kai and the pathetic mess she had become. Kai knelt at his feet, her chest heaving, as she tilted her head to the side. Kylo shoved the needle into her neck, and Kai felt her muscles go slack.

"Now.. Luke Skywalker, he is back?"

"Yes.. he and I.. were training Rey.." Kai recalled, but the memories seemed distant- like a lifetime ago.

"Training her in the ways of the Jedi?"

Kai nodded, her breathing having slowed down.

"Good, good.. where is Skywalker now?"

"I.. I don't know.." Kai murmured as she desperately tried to locate the memory. The butt of Kylo's saber collided with Kai's cheek, and she hissed with pain.

"I don't know!" She screamed again. Kylo snarled with anger, raising to strike Kai again, but he never did.

"Fair enough.." He snarled, "I think I'll schedule my next visit next week."

 ** _Sorry this chapter's short. It's kind of a break between a six month period in the story, this being the first three months after Kai's capture and the next chapter is supposed to jump another three months. I decided to introduce Poe/Finn because I really ship it and I decided to add another OTP into the story. Enjoy!_**


	13. I Am Machine

Kai's chest heaved.

She hadn't received the blue in quite a while, and her anger kept growing and growing. They fed her now, or at least every now and then. But Kylo liked to keep her hungry, said it made her more vicious. In all truth, Kai was not Kai anymore. The abuse, the blue, and the hunger made her some predatory animal that didn't trust anyone or thing. Kai hardly remembered who she was, but there was some memory of a gentle touch and something else- brown eyes and a loving smile.

"There's going to be a meeting." Kylo had told Kai the night before. "The Resistance and the Republic are meeting tomorrow, wouldn't it be fun to go?" He had crooned at Kai's snarling, angry form.

And here Kylo was again, two troopers beside him.

"Sedate her, but don't give her the drug." Kylo had warned as he walked away.

The troopers stared at Kai for a moment, and became snarled when she lunged at them; her chest heaving in panic. They managed to subdue her, even though one of them lost their helmet and the other their two front teeth.

•••

"Are you sure you're up for this?" Leia asked Rey gently as they headed towards the ship.

"I'm sure." Rey replied, but it was a lie. Rey was still hurting for Kai, and she was still sure that Kai would return although it had been half a year. The guards had found Kai's lightsaber in the wreckage from Kylo's attack (Rey kept it close to her own blade) and though they loved her, Finn and Poe tried to convince Rey to move on, that Kai wouldn't of survived without her lightsaber. But Rey believed they were wrong.

"Rey, if you're not okay I can send someone else-"

"I am a Jedi, and it is my place to go." Rey snapped. "Kai or no Kai, I must still uphold my duties."

Leia looked worried, but she nodded her approval.

"Go on," She had sighed.

That is why Rey now stood guard beside Leia as Leia spoke with the leader of the Republic to a public body of supporters. They were speaking of the dangers of the First Order when Rey felt a gentle tug. She frowned, confused, and brushed it off. It was probably nothing.

•••

They had restrained Kai's arms and legs and blindfolded her in order to keep her calm. Or, really, calm-ish. Kai felt sick, and earlier she had vomited blood all over whoever was restraining her.

"Do your job," Kylo had hissed in her ear, "Or you will never get a drop of this stuff again." He pushed something cold and cylindrical into her palm.

She wasn't sure where she was at first when she no longer felt or heard Kylo's presence or voice, when the Stormtroopers' grasps were gone. Her hands searched the surface of the cylinder when she found a button, which she pushed. The cylinder whirred to life, and Kai felt the stress of the bonds around her wrists slide away. Growling, she wrestled the blindfold from her eyes and slashed off the bonds around her legs as she saw the red blade of energy that the cylinder she held contained. She remembered handling one of these professionally for a moment.

Slowly, she rose to her feet, shaking.

And for a moment she felt a strong pull, but she ignored it. The only thing on her mind was the blue.

•••

The meeting had been going well, even though Rey wasn't paying too much attention. She hadn't paid much mind to most things lately, anyways. But she started paying attention when one of the guards burst in, his right arm severed from its place on his shoulder.

"Save yourselves!" He screamed, the sound earsplitting and bloodcurdling. A red blade split right through his chest, and for a moment Rey believed it was Kylo's lightsaber. But when the body collapsed to the ground, Rey saw a face she believed she should know. And underneath the layers of blood and grime Rey recognized it.

"Kai," She whispered airily.

But deep down Rey knew that this shaking, angry thing was not really Kai anymore and that it was something else. Rey believed, however, that Kai had to be in there somewhere.

They stood, eyes locked, for a long time.

Then Kai opened her mouth and screamed, the muscles in her arms and neck standing out as she tensed up, stalking towards Rey, as if there was no one but the two girls. Rey was too stunned to do anything, but someone pulled out a blaster, firing. Rey couldn't do anything but watch as the beam struck Kai right in the shoulder. Kai screamed, turning on the poor innocent that had wounded her. And then Rey knew for sure that this was not Kai.

•••

Kai ripped the man apart.

The man had made her sick. This was his fault.

She couldn't stop shaking; but the red blade sliced through the man as easily as a knife could cut through butter, giving Kai an odd feeling of glee.

"Kai!" Rang out a clear, but accented, voice that stung Kai's ears. She whirled around to see a girl.

The girl looked familiar, but Kai didn't know who she was.

Maybe it wasn't the man, but the girl who had made Kai sick. Her lips pulled back in a snarl and Kai advanced towards the girl.

"I don't want to hurt you," The girl warned, but Kai advanced towards the girl still.

"Kai, stop." The girl's voice is more stern now, and Kai senses the panic inside of it. The panic made Kai happy.

The girl backed away, but all there was behind her is a wall.

"Kai.." The girl's voice was a pleading whisper, but Kai paid it no mind. She just wanted the blue. She raised the blade, growling, but something struck her hard on the temple. Kai screamed, staggering sideways.

Now she was furious, and she dropped the blade as she turned towards her attacker. It is an older woman who looked stern, holding a blaster. The butt of the blaster is red, and Kai realized that the red liquid belongs to her.

"Leia, don't hurt her." The girl pleaded.

"This isn't her, Rey. This isn't your Kai."

Kai snarled. She didn't belong to this Rey, she didn't belong to anyone. But the girl didn't seem to realize that. Instead, she came closer to Kai, her hand outstretched to gently touch the bloody wound on Kai's temple.

"Come back to me." The voice became pleading.

Brown eyes.

Kai twitched, staggering back a step. She didn't want this girl touching her.

"Kai, come back. I love you."

Love? What was love? No. Love didn't exist.

Kai snarled, and she raised her fist to strike but she couldn't do it.

"This isn't you.."

Kai felt something strike her, and she looked down to see a fuzzy looking pin sticking out from the right side of her ribs. Kai suddenly felt drowsy, and her mind began to slip away.

•••

"You found her," Finn congratulated as he, Poe, and Rey stared at the unconscious Kai through the glass. Rey had hated the idea, but they had had to chain Kai in a style similar to the way Kylo had kept her.

"Yes." Rey responded quietly. "I found her."

"She's not going to be the same.." Poe gently warned Rey.

"I know!" Rey snapped, turning on Poe. "But she can come back. She has to. I need her." Kai suddenly seized awake, panting and chest heaving. Rey is reminded of a panicked animal as she watched Kai struggle. "She has to."

Kai's eyes catch Rey's.

They stared at one another, Kai's gaze becoming a snarl as she bucked against the chains. Rey shivered, her jaw clenching as she thought of the task at hand. Rey didn't know how she'd bring Kai back, or if it was even possible, but she had hope.

•••

Rey entered the cell, sitting on the floor just inside the door.

"Hey, Kai." Rey spoke gently, her eyes locking with Kai's. Kai only growled, thrashing again. Rey sighed softly, noticing that in her struggle Kai was reopening all of her fresh wounds. Rey bit down on her lip, and she closed her eyes to focus on gently probing at Kai's conscious-

Something instantly shoved back at Rey's gentle touch, something vicious and brutal as Rey was crushed by the immense pain and fear that once again burdened Kai and Rey cannot begin to imagine what Kai has gone through. So, Rey sucked it up and approached Kai, who tried to back away. Rey held up a hand in surrender as she bent over slightly to grasp a rag that the medics had left to clean the blood and grime from Kai. Kai snarled as the rough fabric began dabbing the blood away, and she cried out in pain when Kai's jerking caused Rey to accidentally slide the cloth against an open gash.

"Shh! Hey, hey.. It's okay.." Rey spoke softly, and out of old habit her hands gently cupped Kai's face. Kai froze, her chest beginning to heave again. For a moment, Rey began to think that she had made some progress and Rey came closer, only to be openly head-butted in the nose. Rey stumbled back, frowning at Kai.

Kai wore a look of anger, her nostrils flaring as she sent an obvious message: 'do not get too close'. Rey was smart enough to know that Kai would do whatever it took to keep anyone out of her personal bubble.

"O-okay," Rey began, realizing she'd have to take it back to step one. Taking a deep breath, Rey's conscious reached out to touch Kai's, which instantly recoiled. Kai snarled, backing away again but the chains cut into her skin and drew blood. But Rey was not going to be pushed away. Rey did as she had before, reaching physically and mentally to touch Kai. Rey's fingers gently pressed against the side of Kai's face that had not been hit with a blaster, and her conscious slowly enveloped Kai's. Kai stopped struggling, but her chest still heaved. With a deep breath, Rey sent things she remembered about their relationship to Kai, speaking mentally and showing images, memories.

 _There is warmth, love. No secrets, no pain. We are together, always, and we are one. We think as one, feel as one, move as one. I saved you in Jakku, you got shot, then we were both taken by him. I know you remember him, he's probably the one that did this to you. You kissed first, I remember, because we were on the Starkiller Base, you freed me and renounced them._

Kai feels it, the warmth. Rey's lips. She almost remembers, she wants to remember.

 _You slept with me that night, in our bed. And every night after that. You are not this, you are no monster. The Kai I loved and still love was sweet, and you.. she.. cared about everyone._

"The.. ring.." Kai's voice was hoarse and raspy from having not spoken in a long while. Rey's heart skipped a beat, and she slipped the ring off her finger and showed it to Kai.

"Yes, the ring. It was yours, remember? You made it. You said it was a promise ring." Rey's voice was gaining confidence, and she stood up.

"Rey?" Kai asked with a frown.

"Kai!" Rey moved to hug her, but Kai had managed to already pull one of her hands free thanks to her slick blood that had coated her wrist and hand. Kai caught Rey by the collar, and her voice became harsh and serious.

"Get out. I can't fight it." And with that Kai shoved Rey aside, her features having become stark and angry again.

"Go!" Kai screamed, lunging at Rey. "Save yourself!"

"Stop it, Kai!" Rey yelled back. "This isn't you! I can help you!"

"Nothing can help me now!" Kai screamed, her teeth bared. "I am a monster!" Her voice became softer now, and Kai slumped over in shame and exhaustion. "I remember almost everything.. I don't want to hurt you.."

"You won't." Rey growled softly, lovingly. "Let me help you."

•••

Despite Kai's heavy disapproval, Rey stayed in Kai's cell; keeping her conscious against Kai's, feeding her the memories of the two. Good memories, happy times. Smiles, laughs, hugs, kisses. All of it.

"I really missed you." Rey whispered, staring at Kai as she leaned against the cell door. Kai gave a slow nod. Kai remembered all of her imprisonment, the hunger and the pain.

The craving for the blue was still there, but the hunger was gone. Rey had made sure that someone had gotten food to Kai, which she had devoured. Rey knew that Kai had gone through a very dark time, so she didn't ask what had happened. Kai hadn't spoken much and Rey felt as though she were talking to herself, but she kept trying to press Kai to remember.

"What's your name?" Rey had asked earlier.

"Kai.. Kai Hristo."

"And how old are you?"

"I don't... I don't know."

"Do you know where you are?"

"... No."

And when the cycle of questions ended Rey would give Kai the answers and ask again after a while.

"Will you let me clean your wounds?" Rey asked gently after a while, easing towards Kai.

"Stay away!" Kai suddenly shrieked, her chest beginning to heave again as she forced herself backwards.

"Hey, hey!" Rey raised her hands in surrender, backing up again. "Calm down, calm down."

That was the whole cycle of Rey's visit until Kai passed out from panic. Rey needed some fresh air, but she also needed Kai.

Slowly, Rey left the cell.

•••

Rey had just sat down for something to eat when a medic was by her side, panicked. Rey immediately knew something was wrong with Kai, and she raced towards Kai's cell with the medic. Rey's heart stared racing when she saw Kai.

Kai was seizing, every muscle and vein in her body straining. The medic team had managed to get Kai onto her side, draining some white liquid from Kai's mouth and lungs before Kai had begun to seize.

"Help her!" Rey screamed, gesturing towards Kai's twitching body.

"There's nothing we can do," The medic spoke worriedly. "She's going through some sort of withdrawal, something's leaving her system. We just have to hope that she makes it through the-"

"She's flat lining!" Someone called worriedly, and Rey felt as though everything was hopelessly wrong.

Come back to me, Rey pleaded silently.

Suddenly, Kai jolted upright, gasping. She was still shaking, and she looked around wildly until she caught sight of Rey. And the two stared at each other, silent.


	14. Fallen Angel

One week had passed since Kai had come back, both mentally and physically. The aneurism-seizure withdrawal Kai had gone through took out most of her memories, but Rey was still determined to bring Kai back. It wasn't easy, but slowly Rey began gaining Kai's trust again. Kai wouldn't allow anyone else near her, so Rey had become Kai's caretaker anyways. Rey didn't mind, she had Kai back and Kai seemed to depend on her. Kai no longer had to take such long pauses to speak, and she had begun to regain many more memories that she had forgotten. Rey had convinced Leia to let Kai leave the cell and come back to the bunker that they had shared, and reluctantly the General agreed.

And now Kai stared helplessly and hopelessly at the shower unit.

"Don't you remember how to use it?" Rey asked gently. She was always gentle about reteaching Kai.

"No," Kai growled, more gruffly than she had intended. It often frustrated her to not remember how to do certain things like shower.

"Hey, hey.. it's okay. I'll shower with you." Rey murmured gently, pressing a hand lovingly to Kai's cheek. She slowly grasped the hem of Kai's tunic, which caused Kai to freeze in panic.

"It's okay, trust me." Rey reminded her gently as she pulled the tunic over Kai's head. Kai looked away, she was exposed now and it made her feel vulnerable. "Take off your pants," Rey reminded her again. Reluctantly, Kai obeyed.

After she made sure Kai was fine, Rey replicated the actions she had helped Kai with, gently taking Kai's shaking hand and leading her into the shower unit.

The rectangular unit is no bigger than 6x10 feet, and Kai slumped to the ground, pulling her knees to her chest. Finn had been right, so far Kai wasn't herself again. But Rey still had hope. Yet she had also not looked at Kai's bare body in a long, long time. Kai's ribs pressed against the skin of her side, and she was covered in bruises and cuts that ran everywhere; her legs, thighs,torso, arms, and back. Rey bit her lip and sighed softly.

"Will you let me wash you?"

Kai's reply came in the form of a single nod many moments later, and Rey knelt beside Kai and began to clean the many wounds that covered her lover.

"I love you, you know that, right?" Rey asked softly.

Kai didn't respond.

•••

"You'll have to get her again." Snoke hissed, slamming his fist against his throne.

"I don't even know where she is!" Kylo retorted, referring to Kai. "Even as an addict to a drug she failed to do her job, I don't know where she's disappeared to! I'm not her keeper!"

"Yes, you are!" Snoke snarled, "She is your apprentice. And if you are too dim to notice, she's with the Jedi again."

Kylo bore his teeth angrily.

"Why is Kai important?" Kylo hissed angrily.

"Because the girl, Rey, her lover.. would do anything to get her back."

•••

Kai stared down awkwardly at the cylinder in her hand.

"That was yours before they took you." Rey explained softly. "It's called a-"

"I know what it's called." Kai said lowly. "It's a lightsaber. My lightsaber." She ignited, looking at the purple blade in confusion. "I thought mine was red, though. Yours is blue.. mine is red."

"Yours was red." Rey admitted, correcting Kai at the same time. "But you renounced the Sith and changed it. You put the red crystals on the ring you gave me."

"The promise ring," Kai half echoed, half remembered. Rey nodded, confirming Kai's belief. Kai sat on the bed, turning the lightsaber in her hand over and over again after dousing it.

"The Sith are evil." Kai remembered, frowning. "I'm a Sith?"

"You were a Sith. But now you're a Jedi." Rey said softly, easing Kai's hand down.

"Was I bad?" Kai's voice took on the innocent, child-like wonder that Rey had often had, but it is sad to hear the tone come from Rey's brave, selfless Kai.

"Once." Rey admitted quietly. "But you fell in love."

"With you."

"Yes."

"How did we meet?" Kai asked, her eyebrows knitting together. Sometimes the memories would come to her, but flee moments later in fleeting grasps of images.

"You were wounded, and I happened to find you. I took you in, Kai."

"I think I remember now." Kai spoke softly, frowning, as she tried to remember. "You were a scavenger."

"Mhm."

"Did you love me then?"

"We both loved each other, but I don't think either of us realized it until we met again."

"In the Starkiller?"

Rey nodded slowly. "You kissed me."

Kai tried to remember, but like most of her memories it seemed like it was just out of reach. "Tell me something else."

"Like what?" Rey asked, leaning against the wall as Kai sidled against her, a habit that Kai was getting back.

"Anything. I can't remember a lot of it, Rey.. it's scary. I'm scared."

The last part of Kai's statement made Rey bite her lip. Kai had never admitted to being scared, never.

"Well," Rey searched for a story to tell, biting her lip still. Slowly, she brings up the only subject that would come to her mind that she had not tried to remind Kai of. "Do you remember our first time?" Rey asked, trying to be as casual as possible.

Kai looked confused, and her eyebrows knitted together. "Our first time for what?" She asked, confused.

"You know..." Rey struggled to find the right way to put what she was trying to say. "The first time we slept together. Romantically," She added hastily, instantly regretting bringing up the topic. Kai shook her head.

"Well, it was after you saved me." Rey recalled. "And our first night in this bunker. It was peaceful. Quiet.. ish.." Rey said the last part meekly.

They had not been quiet.

"What did you see in me?" Kai suddenly asked, surprising Rey.

"Lots of things. Kindness, courage, bravery.. you cared about everyone. You always told me I was the most beautiful thing you'd ever seen, and that was the only thing we ever disagreed on." Rey smiled, but she felt a tear roll down her cheek, followed by another. Rey didn't know if she was crying because she missed now things were, or if it's because she knew things wouldn't ever be the same.

"I kissed you every time you were sad or frightened or hurt..." Kai remembered softly. Rey nodded slowly, trying to wipe away the tears that kept falling hopelessly from her eyes. She didn't expect it, but Kai leaned up and pressed her lips against Rey's gently.

"I'm doing my best to remember.. please don't cry." Kai's voice was quiet and child-like, and Rey could see the tears form in Kai's eyes, too. Kai's words were sad, and they caused more tears to fall from Rey's eyes as she wiped Kai's tears away.

Kai leaned up to kiss Rey again, her scarred palms gently taking Rey's face in her hands.

"I love you." Kai's gentle voice spoke.

•••

Kai and Rey slept together that night for the first time in a long time. Rey had missed Kai's form beside her, and Kai needed the comfort of her lover. Rey held Kai that night instead of how Kai had usually held onto her. But Kai needed it, Kai needed all of Rey.. and Rey was happy to give everything and all of her time to Kai.


	15. Not Gonna Die

The two were lying in their bed, curled up against one another. Rey's head was nestled in the hollow of Kai's throat, and Kai's chin rested on the top of Rey's head. One of Rey's arms was wrapped around Kai's ribby side, the fingers of her other hand gently pressed against Kai's temple. Kai was mindlessly drawing circles on Rey's back as Rey sent memory after memory to Kai, pressing a kiss to Kai's jugular. The movement made Kai flinch, Rey's move having startled her.

"Hey, hey.." Rey said softly.

"Sorry.." Kai mumbled, ashamed.

"Don't be sorry." Rey murmured gently. "I forgot that you're a little jumpy."

Kai only sniffled, wiping at her nose. Kai was so stressed and frightened lately that she'd become prone to stress-related nose bleeds.

"Oh! Hey, sit up.. sit up.." Rey coaxed softly, helping Kai up. She grabbed a rag and held it to Kai's nose, gently stroking Kai's hair. Rey hated to admit it, but she'd noticed that lately the light had been gone from Kai's once lively, bright emerald eyes. Rey feared that Kai wouldn't have the strength to make it another few months or even weeks. Kai wouldn't eat, she wouldn't sleep. Kai was so scared that she often hid behind Rey whenever they went anywhere outside of the bunker.

Kai sat rigidly still, almost robot-like. She was in constant pain, both mentally and physically. She was in constant pain whenever she moved, and Kai swore she saw Kylo wherever she went, taunting her.. hurting her. Kai's dreams plagued her along with memories of the past. Kai saw the faces of everyone she had ever hurt or killed, and it plagued and irked her.

"Do you see them?" Kai asked, her voice slightly muffled by the rag.

"See what?" Rey asked softly.

"The faces of the people you've killed?"

Rey bit her lip. She had only killed Stormtroopers before, but it was to protect herself and Kai.

"No," She admitted. "But you're going through something. You're grieving."

Rey opened her mouth to say more, but before she could speak Kai made a hacking noise in the back of her throat. Blood began to drip from Kai's mouth and now both nostrils, and her eyelids drooped.

"Kai," Rey spoke worriedly and a little shakily, "You need to get up, come on. We have to get you to the medical bay."

"No!" Kai gurgled, a glob of blood splattering at her feet. "I'm sick of the medical bay, I'm sick of the medicine! I'm sick of the pain!"

Rey grimaced, she hated to do this but she waved her hand in front of Kai's face and watched her slip unconscious. With little effort, Rey draped one of Kai's arms around her shoulders and began half dragging, half carrying the girl towards the medical bay as the blood continued to drip from Kai's mouth and nose.

•••

"I don't know what happened," Rey told the medic calmly, looking over at an unconscious Kai with concern, "She got one of her nosebleeds and then.. her mouth started bleeding, too. Do you think she was poisoned when Kylo had her?"

"Maybe," The medic said, looking over at the girl. "She could be going though withdrawals again, too."

Rey nodded slowly, but suddenly there was a choking, gargling noise and Kai was seizing again. Blood dribbled out the corner of her mouth and a pair of medics were instantly beside her, flipping Kai onto her side.

"Blood keeps filling into her lungs.. this is new, but it's not related to the nose bleed." The medic told Rey.

"Grinte! Come take a look at her neck," One of the other medics called. The medic Rey was speaking to frowned and walked with Rey to Kai's side. Black veins webbed the skin on Kai's neck, spreading in all directions and connected to puncture marks that were swelling slightly.

"They must've given her something, open her eyes." Grinte commanded, and a younger medic pulled back one of Kai's eyelids, exposing the dilated, rheumy red eye. Kai's irises were normal, but the whites of her eyed were red and bloodshot.

"Can you help her?" Rey asked worriedly, slipping her hand into Kai's.

"As of now, we're not sure." Grinte admitted. "We don't know what they've been giving her, but it's causing significant damage to her system."

"There has to be something I can do." Rey pleaded, her hand gently squeezing Kai's.

"There might be." Grinte squinted, thinking. "There's a healer in Takodona.. her name is Shanna Mao and she runs her place with her son. They've bee supporters of the Resistance for years. I'm sure if you can convince them to come and check the girl, she would. Now hurry, Leia certainly won't let you out after what happened to Kai- but you can probably sneak out." Grinte informed Rey, writing down a series of coordinates on a scrap piece of paper before handing it to Rey. "Go quickly. We don't known if Kai's condition will worsen."

•••

Rey hurried towards the Falcon, gripping her staff. The staff served no purpose to Rey anymore, but she often kept it around anyways. Chewbacca caught Rey's arm, warbling something.

"Yes! I know Leia doesn't want me leaving." Rey whispered. "But Kai needs my help. Please don't let Leia know."

Chewy warbled again.

"You want to come, too..? Fine, fine. We're going to Takodona, we're visiting a healer." Rey informed Chewy as they boarded the Falcon, closing the ramp behind them as Rey climbed into the cockpit. Chewy warbled something again as he sat beside Rey.

"Of course I have to risk this! Kai needs me." Rey said, incredulous. Chewbacca became silent as Rey started up the Falcon, setting the coordinates. The Falcon rose into the air, the engines purring and coming to life. As soon as the Falcon rose out of the atmosphere Rey initiated light speed, and they headed out towards Takodona.

•••

Rey initiated the landing gear, landing just outside of the small town said to hold the healer's hut.

"Stay here, Chewbacca." Rey said, heading towards the ramp. Chewy roared something, but Rey paid him no mind. "Stay here." Rey repeated, having no time for shenanigans as she hurried towards the town. It was a small village, and rather primitive- almost like a fledgling colony of sorts. But Rey had no time to look around as she ran, keeping her eye out for Shanna's hut. Rey spotted it, finally, after a while and hurried towards it as her heart raced.

"Hello?" Rey called out, gripping her staff.

"Aye, may I help you?" Greeted a rather tall, handsome boy around sixteen. He had shocking blue eyes and an unruly mop of raven hair that matched Kai's.

"You must be Shanna's son, right?" Rey asked, catching her breath, as she approached the boy.

"Aye, name's Conall." The boy, Conall, said with a grin. "What're you in need of, Miss...?"

"Rey, the name's Rey. I'm in need of you're mother's assistance. My lover, she's-"

"Ma!" Conall called back, then turned his attention back to Rey. "A lover, eh?"

"Yeah, her and I are the Resistance's Jedi. She's important, she needs medical help right-"

"What're ye yelling about, lad?" An older lady, perhaps in her late fifties, asked; limping over towards Rey and Conall. That must've been Shanna, and Rey noted that Shanna had a very nasty, disfiguring scar on the left side of her face.

"This girl claims to be the Resistance's Jedi. Her lover needs help." Conall said with a grin.

"I am! How is that so hard to believe?" Rey huffed.

"Thar be only one Jedi left, girl, and his name is Skywalker." Shanna said gravely.

"That's not true," Rey sniffed. "In fact, there's three Jedi. Luke, myself, and Kai-"

"Who?" Shanna's voice became low, disbelieving even.

"Kai, she's my lover."

"Kai.. she is alive?"

"When I left, yes.." Rey said with a small frown. Shanna's lips straightened into a thin line.

"Grab the supplies, boy. We're off to the Resistance."

•••

"How old are you, girl?" Shanna asked once they'd boarded the Falcon.

"Nineteen, give or take a year." Rey told her absentmindedly as she called to Chewy to star the ship.

"Funny, you look older. I had a daughter once. She'd be around twenty-five today," Shanna spoke quietly, sadly.

"What happened to her?" Rey asked as she sat in the pilot seat, though she wasn't paying too much attention to Shanna's story.

"She was taken. She was very young, too," Shanna spoke. "I wanted to find her, but Conall was so young."

"How long ago did you lose her?" Rey asked as the ship lifted off.

"Oh, she was eleven. I lost her fourteen years ago."

•••

Kai was seizing again. The medics were trying to calm her down, but without knowing the cause of Kai's illness their attempts weren't very good. A mixture of blood and foam dripped from her mouth and all the medics could do to keep Kai fro, choking was to lie her on her side.

Rey rushed in just as Kai's seizing began to worsen, Shanna and Conall right behind her. Shanna froze for a moment, but she said something to Conall in a foreign language a moment after she recovered. Conall nodded, grabbing a small vial from one of the bags the healers had brought and filling a small syringe with the clear liquid inside of the vial.

"What is that?" Rey questioned as Shanna and Conall hurried to Kai's side, looking her over. "What are you doing?!" Rey suddenly demanded as the needle was shoved right into one of the veins in Kai's neck.

"Calm down, girl," Shanna said. "It's ta relax her muscles. Conall, give me tha green vial."

Conall nodded and did as he was told.

Rey noticed a small resemblance to Kai in Conall's form.

Shanna rolled Kai onto her back, tipping Kai's head back and opening Kai's mouth; pouring the green liquid in. Kai gasped loudly, sputtering and coughing. Rey hoped Kai would wake up, but Kai doesn't.

However, the seizing had stopped and Kai's breathing evened out. The death rattle no longer sounded in Kai's ribs when she breathed.

"Will she be okay?" Rey asked softly as she came to Rey's side, gently taking Kai's cold hand in her own.

"Hopefully, yes." Shanna said softly. "She's a fighter, like her father."

"Kai didn't know her father." Rey said with a frown.

"Kai didn't know him, but I did." Shanna said with a small smile. "Where did ye find her? Is it true she's a Jedi?"

"Kai was Kylo Ren's apprentice. I met her on Jakku where she was wounded.. after that she just kind of accepted the Light side, I guess. She did it for me."

Shanna smiled lightly.

"Well, Rey- That's yar name, isn't it? Rey, thank ye for bringing me to my daughter."


	16. All Around Me

"You're... Kai's mother?" Rey asked, her voice a hushed whisper.

"Aye... though I suppose she wouldn't call me that. We haven't been a family for fourteen years... oh, my poor baby.. I had no idea they trained her to be one if those.. those monsters."

"Shanna, I've seen Kai's past. Even when they trained her to kill and hate, Kai still refused them." Rey said softly. "She was... is.. brave, and kind, and loving."

"And you're her...?"

"We're..." Rey paused, she and Kai didn't exactly have any other label than 'lovers' and Rey realized that that made the duo sound sort of like friends with benefits. "We're dating."

"Dating?" Shanna seemed a little shocked, mostly at the age difference. "But she's so much older than ye, girl."

"Kai didn't know how old she was exactly, actually." Rey admitted sheepishly. "And I doubt she cared. Kai was.. was the best thing to ever happen to me, actually. Multiple times. She saved my life." Rey smiled sadly. "She wanted to marry me."

"'Wanted'?" Shanna asked. Conall listened quietly to the conversation.

"She still does, I suppose. Things have been difficult for Kai. She was beaten and tortured by Kylo Ren recently.. we just got her back." Rey admitted. "But, uh, as for the marriage.. she gave me this ring," Rey slipped the silver band from her finger reluctantly, showing it to Shanna. "Kai told me it was a promise ring."

"Kai really cared for ye." Conall said softly.

"Yes. She loved to flatter me," Rey recalled with a soft smile.

"What else was she like? How did she lose her leg?"

And thus Rey commenced in telling of the story of the Kai that she had come to know and love.

•••

Rey had actually almost fallen asleep when Kai stirred finally. Shanna and Conall had been shown to their temporary rooms, and Rey promised to call for mother and son if Kai woke up in her family's absence.

"Rey?" Kai's voice was hoarse and raspy, and her throat was dry.

"Kai!" Rey grinned and gently hugged her. "Oh, you're okay! How're you feeling?" Rey asked as she waved towards a medic to fetch Shanna and Conall.

"I've been better." Kai's voice was an airy whisper, and she reached out to gently touch Rey's cheek. "What happened?"

"You started seizing again. But Kai, there's something we need to talk about.."

"What is it?" Kai asked softly, green eyes meeting brown ones.

"Your family." Rey admitted nervously.

"My family? Rey, my family's dead.."

"Kai!" Shanna and Conall cried out at the same time as they rushed to Kai's side.

"Um.. not exactly."

For a long while all Kai could do was stare. For fourteen long, grueling years she had lived under the impression her family was dead. Hell, Kai didn't even remember their names.

"Kai," Rey cleared her throat after a few moments to break the ice. "This is Shanna and Conall.. your mother and your brother,"

And still Kai said nothing as her family enveloped her in a hug.

Kai's family was alive.

•••

"Where did you find them?" Kai asked Rey.

"On Takodona," Rey informed her. "Your mother happened to be the healer Grinte sent me to fetch."

"How lucky.." Kai murmured softly. "I have been to Takodona hundreds of times... yet, I never knew they were there.."

"Funny how things like this work, huh?" Rey asked with a grin, taking Kai's hand.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I believed I was destined to be alone forever; and then you came along. You believed your family was dead, yet here they are." Rey said with a shrug. Kai gave a small nod, then spoke again.

"Do you know when they'll let me leave the bay?"

Rey shook her head. "No, but I don't think it'll be today or tomorrow, darling. Oh, and Kai..?"

"Hm?"

"I told your mother we were dating.. we are dating, right?"

"Well, I suppose we never made it official with a label.." Kai said softly. "But yes, I believe we are dating."

"Do you still want to marry me?"

"Of course I do! But there's not much I can do when there's a war and I'm lying in this bed."

"So you do still want to marry me, of all people?"

"Yes!" Kai laughed softly, the first laugh she'd made in a long time. "I love you. I promise you, Rey, the first thing on my lost when this war simmers down is to marry you."

Rey smiled happily, pressing a kiss to Kai's lips.

"I love you, too."

•••

Surprisingly the medics released Kai three days after her awakening. Kai could stand, though she was weak and needed Rey's help to do so. Kai was still a bit emaciated, also, but for the first time in a long time Kai seemed to be becoming her old self again.

"I need to go back to training," Kai grumbled softly as Rey led Kai outside to get some sunlight.

"You can once you get your strength back." Rey told her sternly.

"How's your training coming along?" Kai asked absentmindedly.

"I haven't trained since you went missing," Rey admitted sheepishly.

Kai's eyes widened, and for a moment she seemed to be a bit angry. "Rey!" Kai scolded, "You go and talk to Luke this instant. You're more important than I am. You go and train, I'll spend the afternoon with Poe and Finn or my family."

Rey sighed softly. "There's no debating this, is there?"

"Nope. None whatsoever. Now go. Luke's with Leia, I believe." Rey sighed and reluctantly did as she was told. Rey knew Leia would be in the control room, so she headed there.

"Ah, um.. Master Luke?" Rey asked sheepishly, managing a small grin.

"Rey." Luke greeted, and Rey could hear the disapproval in his voice.

"Uh.. Kai wanted me to come and apologize for skipping my training. She advised I ask your forgiveness and take up your lessons again."

"You are telling me that the reasoning behind your absence is that.. that girl?"

"Well, yes.. I love her. I wasn't about to let Kai die or get hurt."

Luke exhaled slowly from his nose.

"Luke, let her be... Rey loves Kai, you can't change that.." Leia said gently in a motherly tone.

"No, but I can disapprove. Rey, if you're going to skimp your training like this.. then I forbid you to see Kai."

"Why do you hate Kai?" Rey asked, frowning, "And you can't forbid me from doing anything! You're not my father."

Luke looked away, grimacing.

"You're not... right..?" Rey asked, panicked, as she took a small step back.

"It's complicated, Rey." Luke told her.

"My heritage is not complicated!" Rey growled. "You're either someone's father, or you're not!"

"Yes.. I'm your father, Rey.."

"You left me there.. on Jakku.. like I was nothing.." Rey growled, backing away angrily.

"Rey, you don't understand-"

But Rey had disappeared.

•••

"I watched you die.." Kai whispered to her mother. Shanna smiled sadly.

"No, I did not die. Thankfully a merchant found Conall and I," Shanna explained. Both hadn't gotten over the fact that the other was alive. "You've grown.." Was all Shanna could say.

Kai laughed softly. "So has Conall.. I barely remember him."

"Why don't you go see him? I'm sure he'd be thrilled to see his older sister." Shanna suggested with a small smile, indicating to Conall's room down the hall.

"Are you sure? Conall probably didn't even know I existed.. he was a baby."

"He knew you existed, and he knew you were alive. Go on," Shanna coaxed. Kai nodded slowly and took a deep breath as she started towards Conall's door. Kai raised a shaking hand and rapped her knuckles against Conall's door. Conall opened the door, his piercing blue eyes locking onto Kai's green ones.

"You're alive."

"So are you, little brother." Kai responded as Conall moved aside and allowed Kai in.

"Is it true? That you're a Jedi?"

"I don't know what I am right now." Kai told him, sitting down on Conall's bed, "Rey's a true Jedi, not me."

"Rey? She said you two were dating. Is that true, too?"

"Yes. Rey and I are dating."

"You do realize she's six years younger than you are." Conall pointed out.

"Yes," Kai said indifferently. "But that doesn't matter to me. Rey's an amazing person.. and I hope you and mom can accept her."

"She seems... unique. Kai?"

"What?"

"Is it true that you were a Sith? That you killed all those people?" Conall asked bitterly.

Kai felt something tugging at her mind.

"I, uh.. excuse me. I think I have to go." Kai said hurriedly, giving Conall a tentative, sheepish grin as she headed for the door.

Rey? What's wrong?

Everything. Everything is wrong.

Rey.. where are you?

Rey's mental response comes in the form of an image, and Kai recognized the spot to be where she had given Rey the promise ring. Kai began to jog up the stairs of the underground unit that held the bunkers, worried for Rey's sake. Kai kept jogging the moment she was outside. She knew she shouldn't probably be running, but she did it anyways as she headed off towards the ridge she and Rey had sat at nearly six months ago.

"Rey?" Kai called out as she finally came to the place. Kai found Rey, sniffling, looking out over the ridge. "Rey.. what's wrong?" Kai asked as she enveloped Rey in her arms. Rey hugged back, burying her face in the hollow of Kai's throat.

"Kai, he's my father.. and.. and he left me on Jakku to rot!" Rey sobbed, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Hey.. hey.. shh... shh... what are you talking about, darling?" Kai asked gently, "Who's your father?"

"Luke.. Luke's my father.." Rey said softly. "He forbid me to see you, too... but I told him that I wouldn't obey him.."

"Hey.. it's okay.. Rey, he can't stop you from seeing me." Kai told her gently, pressing a kiss to the top of Rey's head. "And you don't need him.. I'll teach you.. and you have me now, and you're not on Jakku anymore.."

Rey remained silent as Kai gently comforted her, the two sitting down on the ridge as the sun began to set. Kai leaned against a large tree, Rey's head resting on Kai's knee as Rey curled up beside Kai.

"How long have you been out here, Rey?" Kai asked gently, stroking Rey's cheek and wiping the last of her tears away.

"Since you sent me to see Skywalker," Rey told her quietly, looking up at the setting sun.

"Why didn't you come find me?"

"You were with your family.. I didn't want to intrude."

"Rey, you're my family. You wouldn't of been intruding."

Rey became quiet again, so after a long while of silence Kai spoke up.

"Rey.. it's getting late. Let's head back to the bunker.."

Rey nodded slowly as Kai helped her up and draped her cloak over Rey's shoulders to keep her warm.

As they headed towards the base Rey's fingers curled around Kai's palm. "Wait.." She said softly, stopping and pulling Kai to a halt as well.

"What's wrong?" Kai asked, turning to face Rey. Rey let go of Kai's hand and pulled her into a hug.

"I'm glad I have you back." Rey said quietly as she leaned up to kiss Kai.

•••

They made it back to the bunker rather quickly.

It was good to be back, Kai had thought, and to have Rey to hold.

Rey had thought it was good to have Kai to hold her again.

Things were slower that time, more deliberate. Both had needed this and each other's comfort. Rey's body was warm against Kai, and Kai was always surprised at how soft the ex-scavenger's skin was for growing up in a desert planet. Rey could feel all of Kai's scars, and she kissed them all.

Kai was Rey's, and nothing could change that.

Rey is Kai's, and neither would do anything to change that.

•••

Kai woke up to her and Rey tangled together, as she had on the very first night she and Rey had ever shared a bed back in Jakku. But things were different back then. Kai blinked the exhaustion out from her eyes, yawning, and stared down at Rey with a content smile. Kai thought that Rey looked nice wearing nothing but the promise ring. Rey's hair was loose, too, and a tangled mess. Kai assumed that she, too, looked similar- but she didn't care.

Kai bent down and kissed Rey, who half kissed back in her slumber.

"Morning already?" Rey grumbled, snaking an arm around Kai's waist and pulling her closer. Kai laughed softly and laid back down, letting Rey nuzzle her face into the crook of Kai's neck.

"Morning already." Kai confirmed with a smile. "You have sex hair."

"What does that mean?" Rey asked with a rather loud yawn.

"It means you're a mess." Kai said with a laugh. "But you're my mess."

Rey grumbled something that could've either been 'fuck you' or 'I love you', but Kai went with 'fuck you'.

"I already have." Kai countered with a grin, "Multiple times."

Rey stifled a small laugh as she gently punched Kai in the arm.

"We should go see your family today." Rey suggested. "You can catch up."

"You sure? We could always go mess around." Kai said.

"I'm sure. Besides, they're your family." Rey said as she let go of Kai and propped herself up onto her elbows, glancing down at Kai. "But that can wait, can't it?" Rey murmured as she gave Kai a gentle push, rolling her onto her back. Kai laughed softly as Rey bent down to kiss her, Rey's hands on Kai's shoulders as the younger girl straddled her.

"Rey, we need to talk-"

That was Luke's voice. Luke had literally just barged into their bunker. Rey and Kai both jumped, startled, as Rey instantly rolled off of Kai and tried her best to cover the two with the blanket.

"Luke!" Rey growled in a strained, annoyed tone. Kai didn't say anything.

"What are you two doing?!" Luke demanded, staring at them with a horrified look of shock.

"It's nothing, and none of your business!" Rey spoke angrily. Luke shook his head, as if trying to clear his mind of what he'd just seen.

"It's no matter," Luke said, trying to clear the growing rage from his voice, "We require your presences in the control room immediately."

•••

They hurried to the control room once they'd dressed, though both of them still looked disheveled. The fighter pilots were gathered in the room, along with most of the ground troops. Leia was waiting for the two Jedi, tapping her fingers impatiently, and Luke stared at Rey as though something was off about her.

A shiver ran up both Kai and Rey's spines, almost as if there had been an awakening- but not exactly.

"You all are gathered here today because we have received word that Snoke and Ren are plotting to attack us once more." Leia announced. "It is clear that they want one thing- our Jedi, Kai. Why and for what we do not know. But-"

Leia didn't get to finish her briefing, because Rey promptly vomited on the ground, barely missing the feet of a fighter pilot's.

Rey coughed, shaking her head, as she leaned against Kai.

"I am so sorry.."

"Rey, are you okay?" Kai asked, speaking the thoughts on everyone's mind.

"I'm fine, I'm fine.. it's probably just a stomach bug." Rey grumbled, wiping her mouth. Kai bit her lip and frowned, but accepted Rey's answer.

"Ah.. well.. anyways, from this point on the base will be o constant lock down. No one comes in, no one sneaks out-" Leia locked her eyes onto Kai and Rey, "-And only patrol units are allowed on outside ground. You will all be assigned posts, however, that you will watch. See Mr. Finn about that later, now go on." Leia ended the meeting and approached Rey and Kai with Luke.

"Rey, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Rey repeated, setting her jaw.

"You might be sick, why don't you visit the med bay?" Luke suggested, trying to be helpful.

"Why would I take your advice? You abandoned me." Rey spat.

"Rey.. darling.. Luke's right." Kai admitted. "I'll go with you, okay? We'll go see Finn and Poe afterwards." Kai looped her fingers gently around Rey's palm, pulling her away from Leia and Luke.

"I actually did that, didn't I?" Rey sighed. "I actually puked on a pilot's shoes."

"Almost puked on his shoes." Kai corrected.

"Does it matter? I humiliated myself."

"People will forget about it. Rey, don't worry- you'll be fine."

•••

"Are the troops ready to be deployed yet?" Kylo asked boredly, but his anxiety was building in his chest. Snoke had devised a brilliant plan, but Kylo wasn't exactly thrilled to carry it out.

"Almost, sir." One of Hux's officers informed him. "They'll all be deployable in an hour or so."

"Well hurry them up!" Kylo snapped. "We don't have an hour."

•••

"Can we go yet?" Rey asked, groaning, as the medics looked her over. Kai laughed softly, having been standing off to the side.

"We'll leave when they're done." Kai told Rey with a small grin.

Rey growled her displeasure, setting her lips in a thin line that caused Kai's grin to widen.

•••

The drop ships fell like fiery comets towards the outer section of the Resistance's base, the sound of impact against the sound barrier one if the loudest things anyone had ever heard. Kai and Rey hurried to grab their weapons, and before Kai could dart away Rey's fingers closed around Kai's wrist.

"We're fighting together this time." Rey told her. Kai nodded, though it was a reluctant agreement at best. The Resistance troops were already gathering outside in position, and fighter pilots were climbing into their ships.

"Rey?" Kai asked softly.

"What?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too." Rey said gently as she pressed a kiss to Kai's lips, the First Order's drop ships hitting the ground.

"We fight together."


	17. Nightmare

Kai's hands shook with effort as she reached to snatch her lightsaber from the folds of her cloak. Kai's chest began to heave with fear as she remembered the terrors that Kylo had put her through; the drug, the beatings, everything. Even after all this time Kai was still scarred and emotionally unready for this battle.

"Hey, we can do this. Look at me, Kai.. We can do this.. together." Rey said gently.

"Yeah.. yeah.. together, sure.." Kai said, nodding, trying to convince herself that Rey was right. But, hey, they could do this- couldn't they? They were a team, Kai and Rey, and not one that was to go down without a fight. Purple and blue blades ignited at the same time with the familiar whirring noise of the blade's energies. Rey felt a wave of nausea building in her throat and stomach, but she pushed it down and took a deep breath as the Stormtroopers began filing out of their dropships one by one. Kai felt herself stop shaking, and her breathing level out.

The Stormtroopers filed out, marching in sync with one another as their weapons raised. Kai heard the familiar whirring of Kylo's lightsaber coming from somewhere, but she couldn't pinpoint the exact location. Kai was terrified, but she needed to protect Rey. Kai felt something off about Rey, something physically off-putting about Rey's health; and Kai's instincts along with the Force whispered to protect Rey.. her Rey. The Stormtroopers began firing, and the Resistance troops advanced onto the troopers.

Kai's heart skipped a beat as Kylo appeared in front of them, and Kai's lightsaber instantly flicked upwards to defend herself and Rey.

"Kai, Rey.." Kylo greeted, his blade raised. Kai noted that Kylo had not yet replaced his mask and Kai sensed that her old master felt 'naked' without it.

"You just can't seem to die, can you?" Kai growled.

"Kai.. don't irritate him.." Rey said lowly.

"Yes, Kai.. don't irritate me.. You know what happens when I'm angry.." Kylo growled. Kai let out a guttural scream and charged at him, purple clashing with red. Rey raced to Kai's side, swinging to attempt to slash at Kylo's arm, but Kylo managed to break away from Kai and parry Rey's blow. Kai growled and thrust her blade at Kylo's chest, and he parried that as well, slashing the tip of his lightsaber across Kai's eye. The wound wasn't deep, but it'd definitely scar. Kai hissed in both anger and pain and raked her purple blade across Kylo's chest. Kylo sucked air into his lungs, trying to relieve the pain as Rey knocked the red blade from his hands. Kai's foot slammed into Kylo's chest and he stumbled backwards, calling into the Force to retrieve his fallen blade and slashed the but of his lightsaber's hilt across Rey's cheek.

Kai screamed angrily, and Kylo turned in time to barely catch Kai's blow to his neck. He shoved Kai backwards, but Kai attacked again and rammed her elbow into his nose. Kylo cried out in pain, and Kai had to admit that his scream gave her a certain amount of satisfaction that brought out the Sith inside of her. Kylo had hurt Rey, and Kai would not stand for that. Kylo could hurt Kai all he wanted, but he would not be allowed to hurt Rey. Kai stabbed at her ex-master, the boy that had once been her friend and then her lover. Kylo stumbled backwards again, and Kai hit him. She'd dropped her lightsaber, and so had he, and Kai's fist met Kylo's nose. Blood coated Kai's knuckles, Kylo's blood, as she hit him again and again until he fell. And even then Kai didn't stop.

Kai straddled him, beating around his face, shoulders, and chest; putting all of her force and strength behind her fists. Tears streaked her face as Kylo choked two words into his mouth piece:

"F-fall.. b-back.."

The troopers began to retreat, but Kai still continued to beat Kylo. She beat him for what he'd done to her, for the pain he'd caused her... and for hurting Rey. Finally, Kai rose up, putting all of her weight and strength into her killing blow, and stopped. Kai's chest heaved with animlaistic fury as she stared down at a bloodied Kylo. Rey, Leia, Luke, and pretty much all of the Resistance was staring at her as she stared down at Kylo with a look of absolute hate. After a long, long time Kai threw herself away from Kylo, growling. She felt Rey gently touch her arm, and Kai leaned against Rey, exhausted.

"Kai..." Rey started softly, handing Kai her saber.

"Don't. I don't need your pity or your lecture right now." Kai's words came more harshly than she had expected.

"I wasn't going to pity or lecture you." Rey said stiffly, sternly. "I was going to tend to your hands.. you're bleeding."

"That's not my-" Kai glanced down to see the flesh of her knuckles split and bleeding. Kai sighed softly. "I'm sorry, Rey.. I didn't mean to snap."

"You're fine.. don't be sorry.. Let the Resistance deal with him, I've opted to chain and restrain him as he did to you." Rey said with a small mischievous grin. "Now come, let's tend to you."

•••

Kai barely paid any mind to the small, fiery pains that shot up her knuckles and through her fingers as Rey tended to her.

"Kai.. are you alright?" Rey asked softly, tieing cloth around her lover's knuckles.

"I'm fine," Kai said airily. Rey sighed softly, pressing a kiss to Kai's forehead.

"We're connected, Kai. Did you forget? I know when you're lying." Rey said, standing.

"I haven't forgotten." Kai said as she, too, rose to her feet. "It's him that is bothering me. All the pain and suffering.."

"I know, I know.. and don't worry. Leia asked me to have us interrogate him." Rey said, gently pressing her hand to Kai's cheek.

"I don't know if that's a good idea, Rey. You saw me lose control earlier. What if something like that happens again?" Kai questioned, pressing her forehead against Rey's.

"It won't.. I won't let you. I'll be there with you." Rey said gently. "You still have yet to learn to trust me."

"I trust you with all of my heart, darling." Kai said softly. "When does Leia want us to interrogate that scum?"

•••

Kai stared through the glass cell straight at the slumped over form of Kylo Ren, her old mentor.. her old friend.. her enemy. Kai stiffened, her lips curling back into a silent, hateful snarl. Luke, of course, had protested against Kai going with Rey to interrogate Kylo- which made her want to do so even more.

"You don't have to do this." Rey's voice caused all the tension in Kai's body to fade.

"But I must." Kai replied, straightening her form.

"No. No one is forcing you to do this," Rey said gently, tangling her fingers absentmindedly in Kai's loose hair. For once, Kai hadn't bothered to alter her appearance to her usual self- so, her hair was loose in long ebony locks.

"He hurt me, Rey.. a lot. You don't understand how much I need this." Kai said urgently.

"Then stay calm." Rey said gently, leaning up to kiss Kai. "I won't let anything happen to you."

Kai nodded slowly as she and Rey entered the cell together, Kai's eyes narrowing into angry, suspicious slits on seeing Kylo raise his head and grin like the serpent he was.

"How nice of you to join me," He snarled sarcastically, his eyes focusing on Rey as if reading her. Kai realized that Kylo, too, could sense whatever was wrong with Rey.

"Nothing nice about it." Kai responded, sniffing, as she resisted spitting on Kylo's face.

"Oh?"

"Nothing. At. All.." Kai hummed softly, glancing at Rey.

"What's Snoke planning, Kylo?" Rey asked firmly, staring at the Sith lord.

"Why would I tell you?" Kylo laughed in disbelief.

"Because if you don't," Rey began sweetly, smiling, "I won't stop Kai from beating you senseless."

Kylo laughed again. "And then what? I wouldn't be able to tell you about Snoke's plans."

Kai's fists almost clenched, but she stopped herself. "I know where Snoke is hidden." She said calmly, airily, "Wouldn't it be nice if we just paid him a visit with you in shackles? I'd suppose he'd love to see you in this state."

"You wouldn't dare." Kylo spat.

"Wouldn't I, though?" Kai asked innocently.

"I wouldn't suggest believing she won't." Rey piped up. "Kai has a habit of doing things people say she can't."

"Why should I tell you anything?" Kylo sniffed arrogantly. Kai growled and struck him with the butt of her lightsaber.

"Because the tables have turned, Kylo. You're the one chained now." Kai growled. Kylo spat at Kai's feet.

"You're a traitor, Kai.. I gave you everything. Power, authority.."

"You gave me nothing but pain and suffering." Kai snarled, half tempted to ignite her blade and slice off her enemy's head.

"But didn't all that pain and suffering lead to your precious Rey?" Kylo asked. "Who, it seems, has betrayed you."

"What are you talking about?" Kai asked, glaring at Kylo. Rey seemed just as disheveled.

"She doesn't know?" Kylo crooned to Rey. "Hm.. seems like you don't either."

"Know what?" Rey asked, suddenly feeling a bit wary and frightened.

"You two are weak.. pathetic. Can't even sense the life growing inside Rey."

"What are you talking about?" Kai demanded, striking Kylo with her lightsaber butt again, her heart racing.

"Rey's pregnant, you moron!" Kylo shrieked, lunging against his bonds. "Haven't you felt it? The shift in her Force?"

"I'm not pregnant," Rey growled. "I can't be. I haven't seen anyone except for Kai." Underneath, however, Rey was panicking. She couldn't truly be having a baby, Kai definitely couldn't of somehow magically helped her father a child. It didn't feel or seem plausible, two women couldn't biologically have a child together.. could they? Rey shook her head and backed away, exiting the cell as her heart began racing even quicker. She felt sick and dirty, something was wrong with her. But Rey had felt the shift around her, the odd feeling and the sickness and the lightheadedness.

"Have someone finish the interrogation- I.. we.. need a break. Rey?" Kai's voice was a mix of emotions. She, too, was going through the same doubts Rey was. "Is it true? Is Kylo telling the truth?" Kai demanded.

"I don't know!" Rey snapped, burying her face in her hands. "It's a lie, it has to be."

"But the Force.. he's right, there has been a shift." Kai said softly.

"I know." Rey growled. "I felt it, too.."

"And you have been getting sick.."

"I know!" Rey snapped. Kai fell silent, biting her lip.

"We can always ask the med bay," Kai suggested. "They did run tests on you. Maybe they have results."

"I don't want to see an result that I'm scared might be true." Rey said, folding her arms over her chest insecurely. "I haven't been with anyone other than you.. and you're the only person I've ever slept with, and I'm pretty confident that you can't have children with me."

"What about the Force?" Kai suddenly asked.

"What about it?"

"Well, your grandfather Anakin was fathered by the Force." Kai suggested, shrugging. "What if that's what happened to you?"

"Kai.. I don't know. I guess... I guess we can see. But what about you? This isn't fair of me to force you into this.."

"You stayed with me when my mind slipped away. I'm staying by your side. No matter what."

•••

Rey fidget nervously as Kai's fingers closed around her hand. "I don't know if I can do this."

"Do what?" Kai asked gently, letting Rey lean against her as they waited for Grinte.

"Parenthood, if all of this is true... I didn't even grow up with parents, Kai.. What if I-"

"Rey, I didn't exactly have any parents around me, either. But you're gentle and kind, and you'd make a great parent. Trust me." Kai said with a gentle smile.

"That's a little comforting, but still.. I don't think parenting is my thing." Rey whispered.

"I think I should be the one to say that." Kai spoke softly. "I mean, I'm the ex-Sith."

"And I'm a Jedi, I'm the one who should be living a life of solitude."

"Yet here we are. I don't think we're doing a good job of being Jedi."

"Kai? Rey?" The duo looked up to see Luke Skywalker staring at them.

"I suppose you've come to ridicule me?" Rey asked lowly.

"No, I have not. In fact- Kylo told me of your.. problem." Luke said as gently as the old man could speak.

"The baby, if it's true, is no problem." Rey said angrily.

"Oh, it's true." Luke said grimly. "But it's not necessarily the Force's child, as Anakin had been.."

"What are you talking about, old man?"

"It, your baby, is as much Kai's as it is yours.. Now, you know that I don't exactly approve of your choice of lover, mostly because she helped bring destruction to my school.. but, as much as it pains me to say this, the Force gave you a child. The midichlorians must've looked favorably upon you and drawn both of your life Forces together."

"How do you know?" Rey asked doubtfully.

"Listen to the Force, child. Can't you hear it telling you what you find so hard to believe?"

"Rey, he's right." Kai said, admitting to something she'd thought she'd never be saying. "I'm sure Grinte would further confirm Luke's theories with a midichlorian count and whatever else he has tested."

"Kai, I don't want this to be true." Rey growled. "We're Jedi, we're not meant to be parents; and a war zone is no place or time to raise a family." Rey knew that she was being hypocritical, as her father and his father before her had had children.

"This could be a good thing, Rey." Kai coaxed softly. "I mean.. sure, it's really strange and all.. but it's our kid, according to Luke."

"Let's just hear what Grinte has to say." Rey growled softly.

•••

Rey sat, her heart racing again, as Grinte fidgeted as if debating to tell Kai and Rey the truth.

"Just spit it out!" The duo demanded. Each was nervous for different reasons as Grinte finally opened his mouth.

"It's true. Rey's going to have a baby."


	18. Durch den Monson

"How did you know?" Rey growled at Kylo, who was still bound in the same position that she had left him nearly four hours ago.

"How did you not?" Kylo countered with a growl. "Does Kai know you're here? I doubt that she'd let you out of her sight now that you're carrying someone else's spawn."

"It isn't someone else's spawn." Rey spat, fighting the urge to kick Kylo in the nose. "It's Kai's baby, too, confusingly."

"Oh?" Kylo laughed dryly, his shoulders shaking.

"What's so funny?" Rey asked, her eyebrows furrowing as she tried to figure out why Kylo found their situation hilarious.

"Just Kai. When we were younger she always told me she never wanted kids.. too much work, too much love and patience.. Kai doesn't have love and patience, did you know that? She's not supposed to, anyways.. I always thought that I took that out of her." Kylo said with an arrogant smirk.

"You don't know Kai."

"I know everything about Kai, Rey." Kylo said, raising his head to look Rey in the eyes. "I was her master, her companion, her lover. She told me everything."

"Because she thought she could trust you." Rey snarled, her fists clenching. "But you just hurt Kai."

"And you haven't?"

"No! Kai knows that I would never betray her. Kai knows that I love her more than anything." Rey said. "And, if you were any good at sensing what she's actually feeling instead of what you think she should feel, you'd know that Kai is actually ecstatic for this baby."

"I get the feeling that you're not." Kylo said, trying to move but Rey held him in place with the Force.

"I love Kai." Rey said. "But I'm not ready for this."

"You didn't say that you loved your baby."

Rey didn't answer as she stalked out from Kylo's cell.

•••

"I think I might be a dad..." Kai said uneasily to her mother and brother, who stared at her with shock and confusion.

"Kai, you're a female.. you can't father children." Shanna said slowly.

"I know, I know!" Kai replied hurriedly. "It's just.. uh... that Rey's pregnant, and, well, it's through the Force.. her and I's Force.."

"What do you mean?" Conall asked, frowning slightly.

"Rey and I share a bond. A strong one; a mental connection that the Force connected us with. I feel what she feels, she feels what I feel.. Rey can sense my emotions and my truths and my lies and I can sense hers. And according to Luke Skywalker, the Force- or, well, the midichlorians inside of us- decided we'd be good parents or something."

"So Rey's... pregnant?" Shanna and Conall asked sheepishly.

"Yes."

"And you're a dad?"

"Metaphorically, yes."

"How's Rey taking the news?" Shanna asked cautiously.

"Not good.. she doesn't want to be a parent." Kai admitted. "I tried convincing her that this was a good thing, but Rey isn't easily swayed.."

"Parenting is a big step, Kai." Shanna said gently. "I remember raising you, and I remember raising Conall... there's a lot of worry, time, and commitment in parenting, dear.. and Rey is young.. you are, too, but Rey.. she's only nineteen, dear, and she's the one carrying this child. That's a lot of strain to put on someone so young, especially when she's an important Jedi.."

"Mom, we didn't plan this." Kai said slowly.

"I know." Shanna said gently. "I just want you to know what you're getting into, dear."

Kai nodded slowly, looking down at her hands that she was wringing nervously. "I'm nervous, too, mom. I know that Rey's scared, I can feel it. I'm scared, too.. but this kid's a good thing, I can feel it. The Force is telling me that it's good."

•••

"Kai, we need to talk." Rey said slowly to the corner. "Kai, we need to talk.. Gah, no!"

Rey was beyond nervous, and she needed Kai to know that she really wasn't ready for this. Rey knew, or at least thought she knew, that she wouldn't be a good parent to a child. Especially a child of the Force- look at her grandfather, Anakin. He was a boy with a good mother and still he turned into a Sith lord that killed his wife and countless others. Rey was terrified to think of what her and Kai's child would turn out like with a Jedi parent and a half-Sith. Rey hated to admit it to herself, but Kai was not a Jedi; however, Kai was not a Sith, either. Rey hoped that their child would not be subjected to the duties that his or her parents were, because Kai's powers had all but nearly destroyed her and Rey found herself growing stronger- and Kai's powers built, too, as her connection with Rey strengthened. But this baby... Rey didn't think she wanted to keep it, and she hoped Kai understood. Rey's heart quickened as Kai opened the bunker door, walking to Rey and hugging her from behind.

"Kai we need to talk," Rey blurted out, her words jumbled.

"Hey, slow down." Kai chuckled as she rested her chin on the top of Rey's head.

"Kai," Rey said, taking in a deep breath, "We need to talk."

"About what, darling?" Kai murmured, closing her eyes as she leaned against Rey.

"This baby. I can't do this. I know I can't." Rey said slowly.

"You don't know that.." Kai said gently. "You haven't been a parent before."

"Neither have you!" Rey snapped.

"I know," Kai said, doing her best to speak gently as Rey had to her when Kai wasn't in her right mind. "But if you give this a chance, darling, I think that you'll figure out that this is a good thing."

"Kai, I can't do this." Rey repeated, folding her arms over her chest and looking away from Kai. Kai didn't understand why Rey was so scared. When Kai was younger, her and Kylo would often visit where the Troopers were raised and trained; Kai always enjoyed visiting the babies and holding them and talking to them, and sometimes even naming them even though it was against protocol.

"I think you can," Kai said gently, murmuring into Rey's ear. "You're strong and loving, you'd make an amazing mother."

"You really think so...?" Rey asked nervously.

"I know so." Kai responded. "Now come, let's go finish interrogating Kylo."

 ** _Sorry that this update has taken so long. I'm a little busy right now, but I plan on hopefully updating again later today if I'm lucky. The next chapter will be more exciting. :)_**


	19. Brick by Boring Brick

"Tell us what Snoke wants before things get worse." Kai warned Kylo, whose nose was dripping with crimson as he struggled to stand, the floor below him growing slick with his blood. Rey knew it wasn't a very Jedi-like thing to do, but she wasn't about to stop Kai. Instead, Rey sat off to the side eating a piece of fruit as her lover tortured their archenemy.

"I won't tell you anything!" Kylo shrieked, trying to lunge at Kai- but his bonds held him back and cut into his skin.

"My, my.. this looks awfully familiar." Kai murmured, a slow grin peeling across her lips. "Don't you agree, Rey?"

"Too familiar." Rey agreed as she stared at Kai and Kylo.

"What do you think, should I break his arm or his leg?" Kai asked with a small grin as she looked down pitifully at Kylo.

Rey shuddered, and decided it was time to intervene. "Use the Force, like he did to us."

Kai didn't like that idea as much, but she held out her hand to Kylo's forehead and focused. Kylo defended his mind, which was usually as guarded as an iron fortress- though now it was much more like a brick wall-, and tried to evade Kai's attempts at peering into Kylo's memories and thoughts. Kylo gritted his teeth and the cords in his neck began to stand out as he tried to withstand Kai's mental torment, and Kai tensed as she tried to see through him. Rey looked away as Kai's fist began to clench and Kylo cried out in pain, his eyes squeezing shut as he shook his head side to side vigorously; trying to shove Kai's consciousness away. After what seemed like forever, Kylo's defenses gave way and he slumped over, panting. Kai panned through Kylo's most recent memories.

 _"We need the girl!" Snoke snarled, slamming his old, withered fist against his throne._

 _"Master, what use is the girl?" Kylo whined, "She keeps either evading us or running away."_

 _"Don't you understand, you foolish boy? Kai is the key to Skywalker's daughter. If we capture your old apprentice, Rey would do anything to get her back."_

 _"Kai wouldn't let Rey from her sight, and Rey certainly wouldn't let Kai away either."_

 _"Then it's up to you to figure it out!"_

Kai gritted her teeth as she continued to scan through the memories.

 _"I've got it, master." Kylo said as he reappeared in Snoke's throne room. "If I can get myself captured, I can rendezvous with our inside man and take the Resistance down from the inside."_

 _"Do you believe that would work?" Snoke snarled, glaring down at Kylo with his hideous, disfigured face._

 _"I know Kai. She would make sure I'd get locked away."_

Kai slammed her free fist against the wall. "Who is your inside man?!" Kai demanded, her voice a low, angry scream.

"I won't tell you!" Kylo shrieked, baring his teeth at Kai as Kai did the same; her chest heaving with hatred and anger.

"Do it, or I'll take off your arm with your own blade!" Kai threatened, her fists clenching.

"I won't do it!" Kylo screamed. Kai snarled and held up her hand again, stabbing into Kylo's consciousness.

 _"Are you sure there'll be lots of money?" A distorted voice asked Kylo, the person's face obscured by the hood of a cloak._

 _"Lots, you'll be able to support your family."_

 _"How do I know you're not lying?" The voice questioned._

 _"Just trust me."_

 _"Why should I trust you? I know who you are, what you've done.. I know everything. If you don't follow through-"_

 _"I will, dammit!"_

"Who was that?" Kai demanded, her fingers locking around Kylo's throat. She was half tempted to start shutting off his airways and squeeze the life out of him, and she had begun to do so when Rey gently placed a hand on Kai's shoulder.

"Kai.. Don't be like him." Rey reminded gently, turning Kai's face to hers and pressing a gently, reminding kiss to Kai's lips. Kai released Kylo, her attention diverted to Rey. "I think that's enough for now.. let's go.."

"So you're leaving, just like that? Because she wants you to?" Kylo mocked, grinning, as the blood dribbled down his chin. "Why don't you just end me, Kai? I know you want to.. we can all feel it. You want me dead, so why don't you-"

"If I could kill you, I would!" Kai screamed, her voice filling the room. Rey's hand gently clasped over Kai's, and she pulled her snarling lover out of the cell.

"Kai, you lost it in there.." Rey said gently, nervously.

"I don't want to talk about it." Kai growled as she stormed off, clenching her fists.

"Kai, wait!" Rey said, jogging after Kai. Kai said nothing, but she turned around as Rey caught up to her. "Kai, I know you're under a lot of stress.."

"A lot of stress? Do you know how much pain he brings up whenever I see or talk to him?" Kai demanded.

"Yes, I know darling.." Rey said gently. "We're connected."

Kai sighed softly. "Look, I'm sorry. Why don't you go train with Luke.. I need to calm down."

"Kai, you know I don't like training or being around Luke.."

"Fine.. then go talk to Shanna or Conall. I don't want you to be around me when I'm like this. I don't want to snap at you." Kai said lowly as she stalked off, leaving Rey to her own devices.

•••

Rey slowly walked towards her and Kai's bunker, sighing softly. Rey knew Kai was stressed, Rey could feel it. But Rey was stressed, too, and she wished Kai would just leave Kylo be for just a little bit so they could be together; Rey needed Kai to be with her, she was still struggling with the fact that she was actually pregnant and Rey was still uncertain if she would be able to care for their baby. Rey's hand reached out to open the bunker's door, her lips pursed in thought, and she pushed into the room to stare at her and Kai's bed for a moment before deciding that she needed the calming sensation of a shower. Rey's hands slid down to grasp the hem of her tunic, but she stopped once she got to her stomach. Rey froze for a moment, panicked, when she felt the small curve of the baby inside of her.

 _Her_ baby.

Rey hadn't full grasped the fact that this was actually her own child, but also Kai's. This was actually _their_ child, not just her own. Rey inhaled sharply, letting her hands wash over the small arc in her stomach. It wasn't to the point where anyone could tell she was actually pregnant yet; but that might've just been because Rey's clothing hid most of her form. Rey stripped down, staring at her stomach almost in awe with herself. Suddenly she felt Kai's consciousness brush against her own.

Rey? Are you alright?

I'm fine, why?

You were panicking, I felt it.

I wasn't panicking!

Don't lie, we're connected. I'm on my way down there- don't try and convince me otherwise.

Rey sighed softly. She hadn't meant to startle Kai, after all Kai had been so jumpy lately already.. she didn't need Rey's problems to make everything worse. Or, at least, that was what Rey thought. Rey sighed softly and continued to run her hands over her small baby bump in awe. Kai walked through the door, a look of concern on her usually stoic features.

"Kai, it's ours." Rey said simply, still in awe.

"What are you talking about, dear?" Kai asked, frowning, as she approached Rey. Rey turned and traced her thumb gently over the scarring cut on Kai's eye put there by Kylo's lightsaber.

"The baby. It's ours." Rey said softly.

"Yeah.. Rey, darling, I know.. Are you okay..?" Kai asked softly. Rey nodded and took Kai's hand, placing Kai's scarred palm on the curve of her stomach. "Holy.. Rey, is that..?"

Rey nodded, a small grin coming to her features. For the first time since she'd learned about the baby, Rey felt at peace about their child. After all, it was just a baby. How hard could parenthood be? Kai threw her arms around Rey, and Rey could feel the happiness radiating off of Kai.

"So you're fine with this now?" Kai asked slowly, resting her chin on the top of Rey's head; Rey burying her face in the crook of Kai's neck.

"Well.. it's still a lot to take in." Rey admitted. "But.. but I will admit.. that you're right. This could.. potentially.. be a good thing."

Kai laughed. "Well, you know me. I'm always right."

"Sure, sure.." Rey chuckled, giving Kai a gentle push. "You haven't told anyone, have you?"

"Well.. not exactly."

"Kai, who did you tell?" Rey asked sternly.

"Just my mother and Conall." Kai said, holding up her hands in surrender. Rey seemed relieved. "Do you not want anyone to know, Rey?"

"I don't know, Kai. I mean.. with that inside man and all, Snoke could find out. I don't want to endanger you... or the baby. The baby is a weak link now... and I am, too."

"Rey, nothing will happen. And you can't hide this for too long." Kai warned.

"I know, I know.. but still. Life isn't easy for us." Rey said slowly. "We should probably go talk to Shanna and Conall to make sure that they don't tell anyone."

"I trust they won't," Kai said with a small frown. "But if it'll bring you closure, then fine. Let's go."

•••

"Kai? Is something wrong?" Shanna asked as she peered at Kai and Rey from her door.

"No, everything's fine mom." Kai said with a small smile. "I just brought Rey over, we want to talk to you and Conall."

"You brought Rey?" Shanna smiled, letting them in. "Do you mind if we look at her?"

Kai looked over at Rey, and Rey nodded her approval. Shanna gently took Rey's arm, slightly lighting as she lifted Rey's tunic up halfway. "Hold that, please." Shanna told Rey, who did as she was told. Kai sensed that Rey was slightly uncomfortable as Shanna looked her over. Shanna's fingers gently probed Rey's stomach, and she seemed engrossed in looking Rey over.

"Where's Conall?" Kai asked, frowning.

"I'm not sure, he said he had something to do. Grinte gave him a job."

"Doing what?" Kai asked.

"Patching Kylo up after you're done interrogating him." Shanna said simply. "You can go look for him while I look over Rey if you want."

"Are you okay with me leaving?" Kai asked Rey softly.

Rey nodded. "I'll be fine, go find your brother."

•••

Kai headed down towards Kylo's cell, keeping her eyes opened for Conall. She finally spotted her brother, but he definitely wasn't patching Kylo up. Kai hid behind the door, listening, as they spoke.

"You want me to kill her?" Conall asked lowly.

"No, I want you to capture her." Kylo growled. "Dead or alive. Snoke needs your sister, Conall... that, or you could just deliver Rey to him."

"I don't know, Ren." Conall growled airily.

"Do it, Conall. We've already supplied you with a blade like you asked. Your powers may not be as strong as your sister's, boy, but I sense them." Kylo replied.

"Fine. I'll do it. I'll take Rey to Snoke, but in return I want Kai to be guaranteed as safe from from the First Order."

"Fine. Your sister is safe. Just do your job, Darth Concussus."

Darth Concussus? Was Conall... a Sith? Kai hadn't even sensed the Force within him, but hearing Conall's Sith name brought the memories of the one Snoke had given her. Or, well, planned to give her once she'd graduated from Kylo's teachings: Darth Interitus. Conall exited the cell, and jumped slightly when he saw his sister.

"Oh! Kai, I didn't see you there." He said with a nervous chuckle.

"Hey, Conall." Kai greeted as she feigned a smile, pretending like she'd heard nothing. "Come, I, uh.. wanted to show you something."

"Okay.." Conall said, smiling, as Kai led him towards the door that led outside. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see," Kai said with a small smile as she led him towards the forest.

•••

"You know parenting is a lot of work, right Rey?" Shanna asked softly.

"I'm sure it is, but I wouldn't know. I've never been a parent before," Rey said.

"Well, it is. It's been a long while since I've seen her, but raising Kai wasn't easy. Or Conall." Shanna said. "I remember everything that I went through with them as babies and as children... it's a lot of commitment, dear."

"I know.." Rey said slowly, sighing. "And I'm still a little scared, but I'm also.. elated. I think that's the right word. I wasn't before, but I see Kai's point now."

"I'm sure that things will end well. You're a good girl, Rey. I'm glad that Kai has you."

•••

"I know who you are." Kai said lowly.

She and Conall were standing on a large ledge that overshadowed the Resistance base.

"Excuse me?" Conall asked with a nervous laugh. "Of course you do, I'm your brother."

"You know what I mean, _Darth Concussus._ " Kai snarled. Conall's face went white, and he bit down on his lip.

"You weren't supposed to hear that, Kai.." Conall said uneasily. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Yet you'd hurt Rey and our baby?" Kai growled, drawing her blade. Conall did the same; however, neither ignited their lightsabers.

"To save you? Yes. You don't actually love her, do you? She's a _female_. You're a female!" Conall growled.

"Of course I love her!" Kai snapped. "I'm going to marry her! I technically impregnated her!"

Conall growled and lit his blade. "Don't make me fight you, Kai."

"If I have to take you down in order to keep the Resistance and Rey safe; I will, Conall." Kai warned as she ignited her own blade.

"I can't risk you snitching on me."

"You know I have to."

Conall sighed softly. "Then you give me no choice, Kai." He lunged at her, red clashing with purple as Kai deflected Conall's attack. Conall was strong, but Kai was stronger. Conall had next to no training, but Kai had trained for fourteen years. Kai shoved him backwards, slashing at him. Conall was lucky enough to parry the blow in time, gritting his teeth as he forced Kai back a step. Kai knew that this fight wouldn't last long, but she'd see what Conall would do. Conall tried to cut at Kai's arm, but she parried the blow and swung at Conall's left, putting a gash into his side. Conall screamed, the crest of his hate growing, as he lashed out at Kai. Kai easily disarmed him, slinging the red lightsaber out of Conall's hand. Conall growled and caught Kai in the side with his foot; right in the part of Kai's hip where she'd been hit by the blaster before meeting Rey. It was an old wound, but it still hurt her to this day. Kai grunted and dropped the lightsabers, which doused themselves as they rolled off to the side. Kai's hand covered the old wound, as she lashed out at Conall; kicking him in the kneecap with her android leg. Conall screamed and almost fell to his knees when they buckled, but instead he tried to lunge at Kai. Kai darted out of the way, catching Conall's wrist as he slid off the edge of the cliff.

Conall's chest was heaving, and he stared up at Kai with.. hate. Conall _hated_ Kai, didn't he? Kai looked down at her sibling sadly.

"You left us!" Conall screamed at her.

"I had no choice!" Kai defended herself. "You betrayed me, Conall!"

"You're no better, Kai! You killed people! I never killed anyone!" Conall growled as he attempted to use Kai's arm to pull himself up.

"I'm sorry, Conall. You know I can't risk letting you up." Kai said slowly, making her decision.

"I'm your brother. You wouldn't kill your brother," Conall hissed.

"You're not my brother. You're a traitor." Kai said simply, her fingers slipping from Conall's wrist. Conall's eyes, which were flecking with gold, widened as Kai's grasp eluded him and he fell. He let out a scream that was silenced with a sickening thud. Kai fell to her knees, feeling the tears drop down her face like a river. Rey's consciousness tapped at Kai's, but Kai shoved it away. Rey didn't need to see her like this. Not after Kai had just killed her brother.

"I trusted you, Conall!" Kai screamed into the open air. "I loved you!" She knew it was nonsense, since she had only reunited with him recently; but Conall was her family. She had loved her younger brother, who had been tainted by the dark side just as Kai had been as a child. She slammed her fist against the ground, burying her face in her hands. She tried to convince herself all was forgiven, but she knew that it wasn't. Kai had killed her brother, which wasn't a very Jedi-like thing to do; and she wasn't sure how she'd break it to Shanna. After calming herself down, she let Rey's consciousness envelope her own, comforting her.

Conall's dead.

What happened?!

I killed him. Rey.. I killed my brother..


	20. Thousand Eyes

Kai. What did you do?!

I had to do it, Rey. I had to kill him. He was a traitor.

What are you talking about, Kai?! You just killed your brother!

He was the inside man, Rey. He was going to kill you. I couldn't let that happen.

Kai withdrew from Rey's mind, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her tunic. For a few more moments she started over the cliff from where she had dropped her baby brother... no, Kai couldn't regret this or feel remorse for Conall's demise. He had brought this on himself, he had willed his end into existence. Kai forced herself to her feet, tearing her eyes from the cliff and limping back towards the base. For the first time in a long time Kai felt the teeth of hatred dig into her being, tearing at her and eating her insides. She hated Conall, she decided. And Kai definitely hated Kylo.

By the time Kai had reached the outskirts of the Resistance's base, Rey was sprinting towards her- a look of pain, anger, confusion, and worry mingling on her features.

"Kai!"

Kai's gaze rose to lock onto dark, warm brown eyes as the strong arms of Rey enveloped her.

"Oh, you're bleeding.. Kai.. why'd you do it?" Rey whispered in her ear.

"I had to." Kai said grimly, the only answer she would give. Of course, Kai hadn't needed to kill Conall, but... the decision felt so right at the moment, it had beckoned to her and Kai had given in. It must've been the Sith in her. Rey felt the disappointment deep in Rey's consciousness, and in a blind slap of anger Kai pushed her lover away.

"It was the only option!" Kai snapped, "If I hadn't ended him he would've done so for you!"

Kai pushed past Rey, storming off to a place that Kai wasn't certain she could go to, but knew that she had to.

•••

"Well. Aren't you angry?" Kylo murmured tauntingly.

"Shut the hell up. All of this is your fault." Kai snarled. She wanted so much to beat him until he felt nothing. Until Kylo's blood coated the floor and her knuckles, until Kai could no longer feel a pulse in his cold, unmoving body. The Sith part of her longed to beat him, but the Jedi part held her back.

"You're indecisive.. you know, deep down, that the Jedi path isn't for you.. that you're a Sith all-in-all.. that the Dark side owns you.."

"Nothing owns me." Kai hissed.

"Rey does, and you know it."

"And you know nothing." Kai snapped.

"You can't keep her safe, you know.." Kylo crooned. "You can't protect Rey, and you can't protect your child.."

Kai finally snapped, smashing Kylo's head into the side of the wall. He cried out, squeezing his eyes shut. But Kai wasn't done, she began hitting him and hitting him, enjoying and relishing the satisfaction that Kylo's pain brought her.

Kai, you're beating him, aren't you?

Rey's voice was concerned in Kai's mind.

Stop. Get out of my mind, you don't need to see this.

Kai, what's wrong with you? Why are you acting like this?

You know why, Rey.

Stop it, Kai. This isn't you.

You're wrong. This is me, Rey. I can't fight it, I can't stop the Dark. I never could.

Kai's words were sad, and she felt weak. Kai hated feeling weak. When she was weak, Kai was vulnerable. Someone could attack her. So she shut Rey out, building walls up around her mind as she continued to beat Kylo, the only thing she could do to clear her mind.

•••

"I don't know what's wrong with her.." Rey told Finn, looking at her feet. "This isn't Kai, something's wrong."

Rey had come to Finn and Poe for comfort, and the two listened closely and concerned.

"Rey.. Kai killed her brother, and you know she's hurting Kylo.. and she's locked you out of her head." Finn cautioned. "Doesn't that sound a lot like a Dark side thing?"

"Kai is not a Sith anymore." Rey bristled, but she knew that Finn could be right. "I helped her, I saved her."

"We know, Rey.." Poe told her gently, "But there's something off about her."

"She's fighting two wars.." Rey said sadly. "And I only know how to help her with one. She won't let me help with her internal conflict. So much is going on with her.. the war, Kylo, the baby.."

"The baby?" Poe and Finn spoke at the same time, both seemingly as shocked as Rey was when she'd find out.

"O-oh.. I forgot that you two didn't know.." Rey started nervously. "It.. um.. it's a long story, but I'm pregnant.. Kai's the dad."

"But.. you're girls.."

"The Force didn't seem to care." Rey said, almost bitterly.

"That's.. uh.. that's really shocking news." Finn admitted slowly, still in a state of shock.

"Believe me. I know," Rey said just as she felt a slight pull of... angst? Fear? Whatever it was, it was from Kai's side of their connection. "I think I have to go," Rey murmured as she bid farewell to her friends.

•••

Kai felt like she was going to puke as she stumbled through the halls towards her and and Rey's bunker. Everything was wrong with her, she was scared. Kai's head whirled with the knowing, gnawing fact that she had killed her brother and shoved Rey, the only person who knew and loved her, away. She made her way into the dark bunker, sitting on the bed without bothering to turn the lights on. She sat for what seemed like forever before Rey slowly walked into her room.

"Kai.."

"Why did it have to be Conall, Rey?" Kai whispered.

"I don't know, Kai.. I don't know.." Rey said softly as she sat beside Kai, gently wrapping Kai in her arms. Kai felt tense, rigid.. strange, even. Rey didn't like this part of Kai.

"I'm a monster," Kai spoke bitterly. "And you know it."

"You're not a monster, Kai.. you're just in pain."

"I'm always in pain, Rey.." Kai almost spat. "It will never, ever go away.."

Rey gently pushed Kai onto her back, who did nothing to stop Rey. Rey then curled up against Kai's unmoving form, resting her head on Kai's chest and draping an arm over Kai's waist as Kai stared unblinking at the ceiling.

"Why?"

"Why what?" Rey asked gently.

"Why do you love me." It was not really a question, more of a demanding statement that flew out of Kai's mouth.

"Why?" Rey asked, propping herself up slightly. "Because you're still the girl I rescued on Jakku. Because you're still the girl that saved me on the Starkiller."

"I'm changing, Rey. I doubt I'm still the same person.." Kai muttered.

"But you are. I feel it, and I feel you. I feel you all around me, Kai. You can be temperamental, sure.. I know that.. but you're also loving and gentle, and comforting. And over all, I just love you." Rey said gently, gently pressing her hand against Kai's cheek. "Kai, I feel your pain and it tears me apart. Why can't you let me help you?"

"I can't put this on you, Rey. This one, the one inside, is my battle. Not yours." Kai spoke firmly, and she was not about to be persuaded to open up to anyone. Kai loved Rey to death, but she would not ever force the pain that she felt upon Rey, Kai had promised herself that the first night that she and Rey had spent together in the bunker.

Rey sighed softly, and stopped talking. After a moment she ran her thumb over Kai's knuckles, curling closer to her lover in the silence. "I love you. Very much. And nothing's going to change that, Kai."

"Promise me something, Rey."

"Anything. What do you need?"

"If I ever become like Kylo, kill me." Kai said softly.

"K-Kai! I can't do that. You know it. I love you too damn much, Kai.."

"Rey, I don't want to hurt you or the baby." Kai said sternly. "You have to do this for me."

"Kai.. I don't know if I'm strong enough.. we'll.. we'll talk about this later, okay?" Rey said as she buried her face into Kai's chest. "You're not going to become a monster, and you're not going to the Dark side."

"You don't know that.." Kai grumbled. "I was Dark once, and I can go Dark again.. I don't want to, but.. but I'm no Jedi, Rey.. I can't follow the Jedi's rules, I can't live my life like that.."

"Kai.. you told me once that there's a Gray in the Force. They're not Jedi, and they're no Sith masters.. you could just be one of the Grays, darling.."

"For your sake, and the baby's... I hope so. And Rey?"

"Yes?"

"I love you, too."

•••

Kai woke up, frightened, screaming that night. Rey was up in am instant beside her, pushing Kai back down gently and straddling her as Rey sought to comfort Kai in the only way she knew how. Comfort did not come easy to either girl, but in desperate times when a hug or comforting, loving words were not enough this was. Kai wondered how Rey could love a beast like her, and Rey marveled sadly at the numerous scars that slash and criss cross across Kai's form after undoing Kai's tunic.

Everything was gentle, deliberate. And as usual, when they were done, Rey was folded into Kai's arms- skin against skin.

•••

The next few months were rather peaceful, though Kai did whatever it took to avoid her mother and things hadn't truly gotten better with Kai's mental stability.. Rey feared that Kylo's torment had permanently effected Kai's wellbeing. She felt the pull to the Dark side growing, and she kept it secret no matter what. As for Rey, she found that Kai was right- and it was growing harder and harder for the two to conceal Rey's pregnancy, and both knew that as time went on it'd be even more difficult. Rey was probably five months into the whole thing, and she found most of this experience unenjoyable. She wasn't too swollen yet, though the arc had become much bigger- probably around the same size as Poe's fighter helmet, maybe a little smaller.

On the particular day that it finally happened, Kai and Rey were besides themselves at their decided spot- the ledge in the forest where Kai had gave Rey the promise ring. It was a blissful, sunny afternoon; and Rey was sitting in Kai's lap, leaning against Kai. Kai''s chin was resting on the top of Rey's head as they sat in their knowing silence, exchanging memories from the day. Rey had just finished a short training session with Luke on controlling her emotions and the Force, and Kai had had nothing to do since Leia had banned her from interrogating Kylo after she had beaten him. Kai had nearly dozed off in the sunlight when Rey jolted, startled, against Kai's form, gasping.

"What's wrong?" Kai asked groggily, half-opening one eye and glancing down at Rey, who excitedly grabbed Kai's hand and pressed it against her swollen stomach.

"Don't you feel it?"

"Feel what?" Kai asked with a small yawn.

"The baby, it's kicking!" Rey said, and Kai could feel the grin spread across Rey's features as she moved Kai's hand around her stomach. After a few moments, Kai felt the small nudge of their baby, which brought a smile- a real smile, the first real smile she'd had in a while- to her face.

"He's strong, like you."

"And you." Rey said pointedly. "And 'he'? You think it's a boy?"

Kai nodded slowly, nuzzling her face against Rey's. "Yep. And I think he'll have your eyes."

"I think he'll have your personality. And your laugh." Rey speculated, leaning against Kai happily.

"No." Kai suddenly snapped. "I don't want him to turn out like me."

"Kai.." Rey spoke gently. "I'm sure she or he'll have all of your best qualities... and mine, too."

"It's going to be a boy. I can almost guarantee it, Rey. It has to be." Kai said, changing the subject.

"Fine. We need names, though. What are some good names?"

"I'm not sure. Let's just cross that bridge when we get to it, darling." Kai said, yawning. "And I'm also sure that he's going to be a Jedi."

"Kai.. I don't want him to have the same life that we have. Being a Jedi... that's a lot of pressure, and it's destroying you. I just want things to be normal for our baby."

"But you know things can't be normal, Rey." Kai warned sternly. "The Force obviously has a plan for the baby."

"I hope you're wrong.." Rey growled softly.

 _ **Okay, sorry this took so long. I know it's a bit shorter, I didn't have a lot of ideas :P things are going to get ore exciting again soon, I promise. And yes, the baby is a boy and for the fans of this fanfic- if you have any baby names, Private Message me or leave a review because I'm totally stumped right now. As always, I hope you're enjoying this and I'm going to t and work in more Poe/Finn.**_


	21. Come Little Children

Winter had found its way to the Resistance base, bringing with it a bitter cold that chilled the very soul of nature and everything the icy wind touched. Kai was used to the cold; it had always been cold on the Starkiller and this was no exception. But Rey was the one having troubles adjusting. Having grown up on a desert planet, Rey had never seen snow or even felt its presence. And now she shivered against Kai, tensed, as she tried to keep warm. Kai bit back a small smile as she draped her cloak around Rey's shoulders, watching Rey draw the heavy fabric around herself to try and trap whatever heat lingered in the air.

"How are you not cold?" Rey asked through chattering teeth.

"Apart from my being amazing? I'm used to it." Kai spoke. "I'm no stranger to the cold, my dear."

"Well, I am. And so far- I'm hating this whole winter concept. It's icy, snow is everywhere, and I'm always cold." Rey complained. "I miss the warm sun."

"Don't worry, my dear." Kai said with a small chuckle, running her thumb gently down Rey's chin in a loving gesture. "I'm sure you'll be fine."

"You'd better hope so." Rey grumbled. Another few months had passed, and they had given up completely on trying to conceal their baby. Just about everyone knew now, and- as Kai had predicted- the news was welcomed warmly once everything about the circumstance had been explained. Kai, too, was still avoiding Shanna- who had no idea that her son was dead. Rey, out of a blind panic, had said that Conall had been assigned a mission somewhere and wouldn't be back for a while.

"Don't worry, darling. I do hope so." Kai said with a small smile. "Now come outside with me."

"Come outside? No, way. It's cold. And I don't like how the snow burns." Rey said, frowning.

"Fine. Then what do you want to do, Rey?" Kai asked, leaning against the wall of their bunker.

"Something that doesn't involve people asking why I'm pregnant and something that doesn't involve avoiding your mother." Rey decided.

"That's really specific." Kai laughed.

"Look. I don't care what we do as long as it's warm, we don't have to ignore your mom, and there's no one bothering me about the baby." Rey said.

"Hmm. Well," Kai thought, tapping her fingers against her cheek lightly. "I'm not sure, then, Rey. I suppose if you want to stay here, I could find something to keep you warm."

"Please!" Rey begged, looking at Kai with pleading eyes. "I swear, Kai, I will die if the weather keeps it up like this."

Kai chuckled. "Okay, okay. I'll be back. You can keep the cloak for now.. you look good in it." She said as she exited the bunker.

•••

"Kai! May I speak to you for a moment?" Leia called Kai aside as she walked through one of the corridors. Kai instantly stopped and turned around, frowning.

"What's wrong, General?" Kai asked.

"Nothing's wrong, dear girl." Leia chuckled. "I have a favor to ask of you."

"Oh? Ask away." Kai invited Leia's favor, wondering what the General was asking of her.

"We need someone to briefly patrol the woods, Luke senses a disturbance around around those parts. I was hoping you'd be up to the challenge."

"Of course, General. What part of the woods?"

"Just north of here, a few miles out. Would you like a speeder?"

"No, no I'm good. I'll walk." Kai said. "Would you keep an eye on Rey for me? The baby is close now, I can feel it."

"Yes. I'll keep an eye on Rey for you, Kai. Now head out. There's a bad storm coming, and I'd like you in before it starts."

•••

Kai felt the familiar bite of the wind against her skin as she trudged through the layers of snow scattered against the ground. Everything appeared to be normal until Kai stumbled upon a pair of footprints. Kai began to jog in the direction they led in, despite the clouds settling overhead. Soon, Kai caught sight of a glint of silver, which made her narrow her eyes in suspicion. Suddenly, a red laser flew past Kai's face; and Kai could hear someone fleeing. Kai growled and sprinted after whoever it was, her human leg growing numb from the snow; but she didn't care. Suddenly, she came to an empty clearing, everything eerily silent as Kai stood still, her chest heaving.

"I know you're there, Phasma." Kai called out, drawing her blade and igniting it. "What do you want?"

"Nice to see you, Kai." Phasma greeted sarcastically, her blaster pointed at Kai's chest. "I'm just here to offer you something."

"Whatever it is, Phasma, I don't want it." Kai sniffed.

"I think you do, actually." Phasma replied, removing her helmet and breathing in the cold air. "You see, Kai, Snoke is coming. And unless you deliver Kylo to me, Snoke will destroy the Resistance and the scavenger you love so dearly."

Kai stiffened, "Snoke is coming here?"

"Did I stutter?" Phasma asked, her hands on her hips. "Deliver Kylo to me by tomorrow night, Kai, or there's nothing I can do to save you."

"Why are you helping me, Phasma, or the Resistance?" Kai asked, squinting.

"Because I don't want my boy toy stuck in there when Snoke blows that base to smithereens. Besides, to one old friend to another- I want you to be safe."

"We're not friends, Phasma. Not anymore." Kai said. "I will consider your offer, now leave." Kai growled as she turned away.

"Remember, Kai. You have until tomorrow night." Phasma called as Kai turned away. Kai rubbed her hands together nervously, but also to get the blood circulating through her body again.

Kai!

Kai felt Rey's pained consciousness flood into her mind, startling Kai who began to panic slightly.

Rey, what's wrong?

Kai, I need you, now!

Why? What's happening?! Are you okay?!

Just hurry, Kai!

Kai felt her chest begin to heave and her heart pounded against her chest. She began running, her strides coming in short, punching jolts as she maneuvered through the snow. Something was very wrong, and Kai was scared beyond straight. Worry, anxiety, and fear built up inside of her chest as she ran; snow snapping and biting at her exposed arms.

"Where's Rey?" Kai demanded as she slid into the base, staggering against the dry floor with her icy, snow-covered boots.

"Med bay," An officer answered. Kai didn't take the chance to catch her breath as she sprinted down a flight of stairs.

"Finn! Finn, is Rey okay?!" Kai demanded as she saw the familiar, worried face of the ex-Stormtrooper; Poe by his side.

"Kai, you're here!" Was Finn's response.

"I'm here, I'm here." Kai panted. "Where's Rey? Is she okay?"

"Rey's in labor, Kai. She went into labor just a little bit ago," Finn said, giving Kai a small push towards a shut door. "Rey's in there, you'd best be with her."

Kai nodded and ran towards the door, her legs numb and arms heavy. "I'm here, I'm here," She said as she burst into the room, still painting and chest heaving. Rey was lying on a medical bed, her chest heaving. Rey's teeth were gritted in pain, and Kai hurried to her side; taking her lover's shaking hand in her own and instantly regretting it. Rey's grip was crushing, and Kai almost jerked away; but she allowed Rey to crush her.

"Hey, hey.. you're doing good.." Kai said weakly, her best attempt at small talk.

"Y-you made it- ah!" Rey threw her head back, the cords in her neck standing out, as a scream wrought itself from her throat.

"Hey, hey.. look at me, darling.. look at me.." Kai said gently. "We need names, right?"

"R-right.. ah!" Tears began streaking down Rey's cheeks.

"What about Han, huh?" Kai asked gently.

"N-no, I don't want to name him Han.." Rey said. "T-that's like wanting to n-name him after- Gah!" Rey's chest began to heave, but she finished her sentence. "L-l-like naming him Conall.."

"Okay.. so not Han.. what about.. what about Aximili?"

"Y-yeah, I like that... Ax for short.." Rey decided before screaming again, the tears still falling from her cheeks.

"Good, good.." Kai said, gently pressing a kiss to Rey's sweaty forehead, ignoring the pain shooting up her hand from Rey's grip.

"I can see the baby's head," Grinte announce, and Rey screamed again.

"Just make it end!" Rey demanded, her free hand tensing like an animal's claws as she grasped the edge of the table. Each one of Rey's screams hurt Kai, and Kai could feel Rey's pain. She didn't know how long they'd been in there, though it couldn't of been too long.

Kai didn't know how long it was before the squalling cries of an infant filled the air, resonating through Kai's ears as she felt Rey relax, her breathing calming slightly. The medics proceeded in cleaning up the infant, and Kai's thoughts rested on Rey, who was exhausted. Kai gently brushed loose, sweaty strands of hair from Rey's face.

"Is it a boy?" Rey mumbled, her eyes half shut.

"It is," Grinte called from the other side of the room as the medics tended to the still squalling baby.

"I told you it was a boy." Kai grinned gently as the medics swaddled the baby, presenting him to Rey, who held him tiredly before slowly and with painstaking effort managed to scoot over slightly in the bed.

"He has your eyes." Kai said gently, easing herself beside Rey, staring down at the baby, their baby, in awe. When Kai had heard that Rey was pregnant, she had been shocked. And now, staring at their son, she didn't know what to feel. She was, again, simply in shock as she just stared at the tiny figure in Rey's arms.

"He has yours, too.." Rey mumbled. Kai looked closer to see the flecks of green in the baby's irises. He had a messy patch of hair on the top of his tiny head; dark brown strands that matched Rey's, streaked and peppered with strands of black. He, their son, was a perfect physical mix of both of his parents. Aximili's tiny fingers wrapped around one of Rey's, his tiny legs kicking involuntarily as he brought Rey's knuckle to his mouth, cooing. The squalling was gone, replaced by teensy, soft baby coos; and Kai found herself chuckling.

"What?" Rey mumbled, resting her head on Kai's chest, repositioning herself and the baby so Kai could hold him, too.

"Everything, Rey. He shouldn't exist... yet, here he is." Kai said softly. She couldn't take her eyes off of her son.

"He's special." Rey said softly. "I can feel it."

There was a soft knock at the door, and Finn peered inside.

"Is it a good time?" Finn asked quietly, and Kai nodded- finding that Rey had fallen asleep.

Finn and Poe quietly entered the room, staring at the baby.

"Boy or girl?" Poe asked.

"Boy." Kai responded. "Do you want to hold him?"

Poe nodded eagerly, and Kai gingerly handed her son to the fighter pilot.

"What's his name?" Finn asked as Poe stared at the small, cooing infant that had grasped his fingers.

"Aximili." Kai responded. "Listen.. Rey and I were talking a while back.. and.. we want you to be Aximili's godparents."

"You want us to be your son's godparents?" Poe asked. "Kai.. thank you. Yes, we accept."

"We, uh, brought him something, too." Finn said, holding up a small plush Ewok. "It's from the General. She couldn't come right away, but she asked us to give this to you."

"Thank you, Finn." Kai said with a small smile. "And you, too, Poe." The two nodded, looking happily at the baby. It wasn't long before Aximili started crying, tiny tears rolling down his chubby cheeks as he began to kick his legs. Kai frowned as Poe handed her her son, looking down at the child. "What's wrong, baby?" She asked gently.

Rey stirred awake, groaning. "What? What's wrong?" She asked softly.

"I don't know," Kai admitted. "I think he's hungry."

Rey propped herself up slightly, yawning, as she reached out for their son. Kai handed Aximili to Rey, who held the baby to her breast after pushing aside the folds of Kai's tunic, which she was still wearing.

"We'll leave you alone for now," Poe said softly. Kai nodded slowly, taking the plush toy in her hands. The squalling stopped again, and Kai looked over at Rey.

"Leia is coming to visit later.. I don't doubt that she'll be bringing Luke."

"That's fine," Rey said gently, leaning tiredly against Kai. "Where'd you go earlier?"

"Nowhere," Kai said, convincingly, and Rey didn't pry.

"I'm glad I have you." Rey said softly. "And the baby. I love you, Kai."

"I love you, too, Rey. Very much." Kai said softly.

 ** _Yes, Aximili is named after a character from Animorphs :P I decided to have Rey have the baby before I execute my plan, which I'll start writing soon! I apologize for updates taking so long, finals are starting tomorrow for me and they don't end until Wednesday. I plan on updating whenever I'm able._**


	22. Everlong

Kai's eyes stared down at the tiny infant that Rey cradled in her arms.

Her son.

Their son.

Kai would do anything for the boy, she knew that already; with his beautiful eyes and Rey's complexion. Kai had never seen herself as a parent; not as a Sith, not as a normal person... just not as one in general. But here she was, the metaphorical father to a tiny infant. A tiny infant named Aximili.

Kai focused on the baby, Rey herself was sleeping- exhausted. The baby was sleeping, too, his tiny hands curled into little, pudgy fists. He'd grow to make a fine warrior, Kai was sure of it. But she could feel herself weakening. She knew she was not meant to be a Jedi, she knew that she could never fight the Darkness instilled in her.. even if Rey tried to help her. If Kai could do just this one thing, she could keep their son safe.

But he wouldn't be safe with Kylo a threat looming over Kai and her family. She folded her arms, exhaling softly through her mouth. If Kylo stayed, he'd undoubtedly doom the entire base and Kai's family.. but if he was gone, Kai would face the threat of both Snoke and Kylo combined. Kai bit her lip, bending to kiss Rey's forehead. She didn't wake, nor did the baby as Kai gently ran her finger over his soft, pudgy cheek. Kai knew what she'd have to do. She tucked an object into her cloak, setting it somewhere where Rey could use it later.

"I love you," Kai whispered softly, glancing over at her sleeping lover and the child that they'd managed to bring into the world of hate and malice that they'd forever be fighting. Kai exited the room slowly, her eyes stinging.

* * *

"Get up," Kai snarled at Kylo, snatching him by the collar of his cloak and forcing him to stand.

"I heard the news," Kylo grinned, "A bouncing baby boy." The words were sarcastic, and Kai punched him square in the nose. Kylo snarled. "Did you come to bust me out? I knew you'd never keep me here, they'll always come for you.. always. You can't stop me or Snoke or the First Order,"

Kai snarled. "I will destroy you. Maybe not today, but I will. For my family."

She drew a blade, the red one Conall had used to try and defeat her, and slashed at the chains- freeing her tormentor.

"A Sith's weapon? Oh, Kai, are you planning on becoming a traitor again?" Kylo laughed, Kai didn't say anything. Instead, she grabbed him by the collar again and dragged him outwards- her grip strong. Kylo was weak now, emaciated and beaten from Kai's interrogations. But when Snoke healed him, Kai didn't doubt that the maniac would be stronger than ever.

Kai forced Kylo out into the snow, her blade cackling maliciously as she led him onwards still.

She had to do this.

For Rey.

For her son.

She forced the man to his knees, glowering down at him.

"You tormented me." Kai whispered, her voice cold. "You beat me, you raped me."

"You loved it," Kylo spat. "You loved me.. you always will. That's why you won't ever stop me.. you'll always remember what you feel for me.."

"I feel nothing for you aside from my hatred." Kai growled. "You took my leg from me, Kylo. You took my childhood and my innocence. Snoke helped, I know that.. and he'll pay, too.. but you'll get yours, first."

Kai's eyes flicked up towards the lights in the sky, forming from a dropship undoubtedly sent by Snoke.

"How well do you think you can handle a lightsaber without an arm, Kylo?" Kai wondered,

"What are you-" Kylo's eyes widened as Kai brought the blade down.

"I mean, if you want to be Vader so badly.. you might as well look the part, right?" Kai whispered, a small smile drawing onto her features.

And for a long while, all that filled the empty night air was the sounds of Kylo's screams.

* * *

When Rey woke up, Kai was gone and the infant that she held was squalling. Nervously, Rey drew the infant closer and attempted to quiet him. Rey had little to no experience with infants, and her son was the first that she'd ever held or tried to care for; and she knew that this, being a parent, would probably be the most difficult thing to do. Rey was sure Kai would be back, Kai was probably just getting food or had returned to their room for the night.. though it didn't seem like Kai to leave Rey's side at all.

"H-hey, it's okay.." Rey said to the crying infant, not understanding what the baby needed. Was he hungry? Did he need something else? Hesitantly, not knowing if she were right, Rey moved aside the folds of her tunic to nurse her son- and found that she was, after all, right.

But Kai had still not returned.

Rey felt a little nervous, and tried to reach Kai with her mind.

Kai?

No answer, but Rey could faintly feel the edge of her lover's consciousness; like a small shard of glass sticking in the back of Rey's mind. Rey hoped that Kai was okay, but then again the woman hadn't been the same after returning from wherever Kylo had imprisoned her.. not completely. Kai was so angry, and Rey sometimes even found herself afraid of Kai sometimes. Especially whenever Kai was around Kylo. Rey didn't want her son to grow up with that..

Their son.

What if Ax was doomed to become that angry?

Rey loved Kai to death, loved the woman to hell and back, but.. that was not how she wanted her son, their son, to be.

Rey's mind returned to reality when she heard the door open.

"Kai?"

But it wasn't Kai, it was Leia. Her face was stern.

"Leia, what's wrong?" Rey asked, frowning, holding her son close- almost protectively.

"Be- Kylo, is gone." Leia told her.

"Kylo's gone?" Rey asked, almost going into a bout of panic. "Kai. Where's Kai? She's missing."

Leia looked at Rey sadly. "Kai's the one that let him go free, Rey."

"She wouldn't! Kai hates Kylo!" Rey insisted. The baby began to cry again, and Rey turned her attention to him. "Oh, oh.. it's okay.. it's okay.."

"Rey, I'm-"

The door opened again, and Kai peered in.

"Kai!" Rey wanted to get up and hug the woman so tightly that Kai's rib cage broke, but she didn't and couldn't with the baby in her arms.

"Kai, you let Kylo go free?" Leia demanded, and Kai raised her chin.

"Yes. Snoke was planning on destroying the base, and I couldn't let that happen."

"So you let him go?"

"I did. But, not without incapacitating him."

"Incapacitating him?"

Kai nodded. "He wanted to be Vader, so I made him into Vader." She said simply, bitterly; and if anyone had stared closely enough, they could've seen the bits of yellow flecking in her green irises.

* * *

Kylo could not feel his arms nor could he feel his legs.

Then he remembered that they were gone and Kai had left him within millimeters of death.

She said that she would make him into Vader.

She hadn't lied.

His face was torn, his limbs were gone.

Kylo screamed in agony as they scrambled to rebuild him.

The armor was as dark as his helmet, and his voice would always be distorted.

Kai had molded him physically into the monster he'd mentally become.

Flesh blistered, bones broken, head shaved.

Kai would pay.

Kylo would kill the woman's lover.

Kylo would burn their base to the ground, he would end them.

Kylo would take Kai's boy as his apprentice.

 _ **I'm really sorry about not being able to update a lot. This year is always terribly hectic for me, I have a lot of school events going on. I promise to update more when I'm able. Thank you guys for being so patient, and thanks to those of you who enjoy my story and have been trying to motivate me to write again.**_


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